Stars
by Lady Callista
Summary: Emma couldn't afford to think about anything but saving Henry, yet despite her best efforts Hook kept worming his way into her thoughts. And it was no longer just because he annoyed her. (A rewrite of the Neverland arc, and what might have happened if Emma had opened up just a little bit faster. Mostly follows canon but adjusts for changes. Captain Swan of course.)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Because "Broken Heart" is a perfect description right now, and I'm just going to hide in fanfic. Come and hide with me in this new view of 3A, aka the Neverland arc, and what could have happened if Emma had let her walls down a bit earlier. Yeah, I know other authors have done it, but I've always wanted to write a story set back then and it seems a good place to hide right now. (Sorry it's been so long since I updated A Lover and A Fighter, but it's not a cliffhanger or anything and I just couldn't write comedy right now, but needed to write. I'll be getting back to it as soon as I can.) Reviews appreciated as always.

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Stars

by Lady Callista

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"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

from "The Old Astronomer" by Sarah Williams

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Chapter 1:

Emma woke from the fitful half-sleep she'd managed, which had been filled with nightmares of losing Henry just as she'd lost everyone else, as a trilling sound echoed through the night. She sat up at once, immediately glancing around the small campsite to find both her parents and Regina still sleeping soundly. She cast her eyes further around, but of Hook, who was supposed to be on guard, there was no sign.

Memories and fears of loss still swirling through her, Emma's first thought was that he had abandoned them, and she felt the panic start to build in her gut, along with the sense of betrayal she'd felt when they all realized Hook had escaped with the bean. She'd meant it when she said they understood each other, and she had hoped that maybe that slight lowering of her walls would be enough, because it was all she could risk. And in the end, it had seemed it had been, for he'd come back. But now he was gone.

He'd abandoned them, of course he had, because his coming back had never made sense anyway, and no one ever came back for her, which was fine because she didn't like him anyway, but he was the only one who knew the island, their best chance to find Henry, and there had been those moments, those moments when she thought that maybe, when she'd seen the sincerity in his eyes, but he was gone, and...

"Over here, Swan."

Emma whipped around at the soft voice behind her, her back now to the embers of the fire as she peered out into the darkness, trying to find him. The nightmare images finally cleared as she woke up fully, and the panic and betrayal washed away in relief as she caught a reflection of light off of his hook, which he was clearly moving to get her attention.

Emma rose, moving towards the flash of light, casting one last look back at her sleeping parents before stepping between two huge trees and into utter darkness. Despite the rush of adrenaline that had woken her, she was still a little floaty, and the sudden loss of light was disorienting. She staggered a step even as she felt a gentle hand grasp her elbow.

"Take a second, lass, let your eyes adjust." His voice was a whisper, so as not to disturb the others, or alert anything else that might be out there, but she could hear the edge of disappointment he tried to hide as he went on, "It's useless to keep guard close to a fire, even one as low as we've kept this one. It ruins the eyesight, blinds you to what's in the dark."

She stiffened, deliberately pulling her arm from his grasp. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, she turned towards him, barely able to make out more than the strong arch of his jaw and the... she so couldn't be going there right now. But she couldn't help shifting slightly closer, just enough to catch the sadness in his eyes that matched what she'd heard in his voice. "Mulan and Mary Margaret kept the watches those couple of nights in the Enchanted Forest, which made sense. I didn't know that world, and I don't know this one. My life didn't really prepare me for trekking through Neverland with a bunch of fairy-tale characters to save my son from Peter Pan."

Hook chuckled softly, and his eyes cleared to their normal stormy blue. He knew she'd heard the gentle reproach as he'd explained his location, knew she knew that meant he'd noticed the stiffening of her body when she woke, and the panic in her eyes when she'd first turned to him. What would have been a fight with any other woman was averted with two simple statements, without either of them even acknowledging that there had been a problem. Bloody hell, he'd never been so fascinated by a woman before. "Then you're lucky I'm here."

The flirting tone his voice suddenly took on was oddly intimate since they were still whispering, and Emma stiffened automatically before forcing herself to relax. Relaxing was much easier when his eyes left hers, scanning out into the darkness around them in a full circle, and she realized that even while he was flirting with her he was still keeping watch. It both surprised her and didn't, and caused her walls to lower just a fraction, enough for her to whisper, "Thank you. I didn't say it before, but..."

"You're welcome, love." His eyes came back to hers again, and Emma shivered at the openness in his voice as he softly cut her off. "You should get back to sleep, sunrise is only a few hours off, and we've a long trek ahead of us."

"How do you know?" Emma wasn't sure where the question came from, but it was something to keep him talking. It would mean a lilting, soothing voice, rather than the litany of fears in her conscious mind, or the nightmares of her unconscious.

He chuckled again, and she twitched automatically when she felt his fingers on her elbow again. "You trusted me to get you to Neverland, lass, just trust me for seven steps."

She caught an odd tone in his voice, and almost said that if they were lost in a modern city instead of a jungle or forest she could teach him a thing or two. But that would bring the sympathetic look, and more questions, and right now she didn't want to think about the past, nor the future. She'd already had more nightmares than she cared to think of about both. What came out instead was, "You're still here," and Emma twitched at the disbelief in her voice, at the way she nearly made it a question.

They'd both neatly avoided this discussion earlier, and it took her a moment to realize why the words had come out without conscious thought.

Because while the panic was gone now, the thought she'd had earlier, when she thought he was gone, was still nagging at her. Because his coming back really didn't make sense, and she couldn't trust him until she understood why he was with them. Or at least until he somehow convinced her that he wasn't going to leave them.

"Aye, love." His voice was soft, serious, and he used his gentle hold on her elbow to pull her closer, turning so their faces were inches away. She froze, and he felt the tension in her even as he kept his body carefully back, and his eyes gentle. He only wanted to be able to see her eyes, to see why she had suddenly brought it up after avoiding it earlier. "And I'm not going anywhere until we've found your boy. After that, well, it'll be up to you."

"I don't..." She started to say she didn't know what he meant, but the intensity in his eyes stopped the words cold in her throat. Because she did, even if she wasn't ready to think about that yet. She concentrated on the first part of the statement, that he wouldn't abandon them until they found Henry, and felt relief flow through her when she detected no lie in the statement. It still didn't make sense, not really, despite his seeming infatuation with her he'd never risk his life just for her... would he? No, it had to be something else, or at least something more. But now that she believed he wouldn't leave, the nagging thought as to why was easy to push away. That was probably easier than examining it anyway.

"Did I lose you, lass?"

His voice pulled her out of the thoughts she hadn't even realized she'd gotten lost in, and she said softly, "I trust you for seven steps."

He chuckled darkly, and murmured, "It's a start."

Emma jerked again when she felt his fingertips start to slide down her forearm, and a shiver that had nothing to do with fear surged through her. He obviously sensed it though, for he began whispering as to took her hand, telling her quite truthfully of the poisonous plant off to the left as he turned until she was behind him, their linked hands resting on the small of his back. She finally figured out what he was doing, and with a huff Emma stepped closer to his back, dropping his hand to put her own as lightly as possible on his waist. "Could have just told me to follow exactly in your footsteps."

"Where would be the fun in that?" He chuckled again, despite the slight annoyance in her tone he heard the amusement underneath. He considered the fact that it was generally there now when he teased her a good sign, and an even better one was when she teased back. He began walking slowly, avoiding the poisonous plants off to one side while making sure they didn't run into the brambles on the other. He'd chosen this campsite for them deliberately, all the dangerous plants around it providing a natural defense, but it meant he had to be careful as well.

"Nothing is fun in the middle of the night."

Hook froze. He knew the grumbling tone wasn't meant to have a second meaning, but it was on the tip of his tongue to tell her just how much fun they could have once they reached the clearing. But he could feel her tenseness as she ran into his back, and despite what many would say he did know when to hold his tongue. Mostly. "I'll only say I disagree with you on that one, love."

"Pirate." She grumbled at him, even knowing he could have said much worse and wondering why he hadn't. She'd noticed it before, how he would tease and push her to a point, but always back off before she got truly annoyed with him. It was damn near a talent, one she'd never known anyone to have when it came to her. And it was one more thing she didn't want to think about right now.

"Man." He corrected with another chuckle as he started moving again, smiling automatically up at the stars as they hit a small clearing about half of the size of their campsite. But unlike the campsite, where the tall trees around it blocked the sky, some trick of growth here had left a half-moon of sky open.

"That was nine steps."

"I forgot to consider the extra steps needed to get you past the thorns as well." He replied to the mildly teasing tone in her voice. "You can let go now, lass, and look up."

He was spinning to face her the instant she let go of him, and smiled at the awed gasp that matched the wonder on her face. For at least a moment, she could forget all her troubles.

"They're so bright. I've never seen..."

"Your electrical lights may be convenient, but they do ruin the view."

"We just call them lights."

"This is light, Swan." He smiled, taking a step back from her to look up as well, his mind automatically calculating the position of the stars. "And it's how I know the sun will rise in about two hours."

Emma didn't know much about astronomy, but she knew enough to know you could both navigate by the stars, and tell time with them. She just hadn't thought they'd be visible in this dense jungle. "Do they have names? Stories? I don't know many of them in my world, but I know they're a sailor thing."

He tilted his head curiously, amazed by but not willing to question her use of the term sailor instead of pirate, studying her for a moment before glancing around the jungle again, making sure nothing was amiss. She barely wanted to talk to him when it was about important things, and now not only was she deliberately seeking his company, but she was being almost friendly, purposely starting a discussion on something she knew he liked. "Aye, stories both beautiful and tragic, just as in your own world." He cleared his throat, glancing away from her as he added off her arched eyebrow, "I may have borrowed a few books from your library, and, uh, several charts, to orient myself with your world."

Emma shook her head, but didn't bother reprimanding him. It wasn't like anyone used the library for anything anyway, except in a crisis, and she doubted astronomy books would be helpful to them then. And she knew what it felt like to be out of place in a world, to look for anything to make it seem less alien. "You probably know more of the stories than I do, then."

"I like to know things." He said cheekily, his eyes catching hers briefly even as he continued to keep watch around them. He wasn't actually too concerned, he'd chosen their campsite, and this lookout location, well, but he didn't want to scare her away. He was delighted that she'd chosen his company, even if it was only to not be alone with her thoughts, and he wanted to do nothing to drive her away, so he kept it light and easy as she seemed to desire.

He suspected she was only out here because she didn't want to sleep again, and he'd had enough nightmares himself to understand that. It had actually been her soft cries that drew him closer to the fire, wanting to make certain nothing was wrong. He'd hoped the unfamiliar birdcall would pull her out of her nightmares, and he'd been right. She'd slept lightly when they'd been in the Enchanted Forest too, every unfamiliar sound causing her to wake briefly before she saw that all was well.

Emma took a deep breath as she kept her eyes on the stars; it really was amazing, they seemed not only brighter but closer. Now that they'd been away from the fire for a few minutes, her eyes had adjusted fully, but looking up at them was easier than looking at him. Easier than looking at a pirate out of a story who was supposed to be a villain, and he certainly had his moments, yet for some reason was helping her. The thought nagged again, like an itch she couldn't quite reach, yet asking him would mean...

"Thoughts are swirling through your eyes like a typhoon, love, what are you pondering so hard?"

Emma blinked rapidly, trying to pull herself out of her thoughts. "Where Henry is."

Hook shook his head ruefully as he saw her walls go back up. She'd been looking at him with such consideration on her face, and not the kind he was used to from women.

He was fairly certain he knew what she wanted to ask, he hadn't been lying when he'd said she was an open book to him and she'd come close earlier in a round about way when she showed amazement that he was still here, but he thought he knew why she'd backed off and in one way was relieved. For while he wouldn't lie to her outright, she hadn't exactly asked, and he wasn't certain what his answer would do to the kernel of trust that was slowly growing between them. Because yes, it was for her, but it was more than that, and he didn't exactly relish the thought of confessing his previous sins.

"We'll find him, Swan." He replied firmly. "Although you won't be much help if you're exhausted." As much as he didn't want her to go, she had closed down again, and Neverland really was a dangerous place, lack of sleep would make it worse. If she wasn't going to open up to him the best he could do was make certain she was rested.

Emma didn't answer for a long moment, and he was just about to move around her to lead her back to the fire when she asked softly, "Which story is your favorite? About the stars, I mean."

Hook blinked at the sudden switch back to their earlier conversation, but just went with it and raised his hand to point out a constellation just visible above the trees, careful not to touch her as she stepped closer and leaned in automatically to give herself the same line of sight.

He pointed out the eight points of light and showed her how they could be connected to form a heart. "It's called the Mother, and she's one of the only constellations visible in both the Enchanted Forest and here. The story tells of a mother whose love for her children was so great, and her sacrifices for them so incredible, that when she died the gods placed her in the heavens so that she could always look after them. Because that's what mother's do, Swan. At least good ones. And you're bloody brilliant."

Emma tilted her head towards him at the bitterness in his voice when he said 'good ones.' It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what his mother had done when she realized that because she had leaned so close to see the constellation, turning her head put their eyes within inches of each other. Her eyes flicked nervously to his lips before being drawn once again up to his piercing eyes, eyes that while they held lust also shone with a loneliness she didn't want to see but knew all too well. For a long moment neither of them moved.

Then she saw him inhale sharply as a rare gust of wind broke the strange spell between them, and something she couldn't read went through his eyes as he slowly reached up and tucked a small fall of hair behind her ear, the wind had brought it over her cheek and she couldn't quite stop the tingle that ran through her as his warm, rough fingers slid over her cheek.

There was an instant of wonder at the softness that had suddenly come into his eyes, and if Emma had been raised the princess she was supposed to be she probaby would have swooned over the romantic and somehow intimate gesture, yet after that first instant all she could think of was the first time Neal had ever done it. He had seemed so perfect at first, so into her just like Hook was now, and in the end he had betrayed her and left her, because she was never enough for anyone. Hook might be intrigued now, but if she let her walls down, if she let him in... She didn't think she could rebuild her walls if someone broke them again. She didn't think she could rebuild herself.

But she remembered him asking for her trust earlier, and the utter sincerity she had heard back when she was locked in a jail cell and he'd told her he wouldn't have betrayed her. He'd given up his revenge on Gold, at least for the moment, and had told her with the same sincerity that he was with her until they found Henry. A tiny part of her wondered as he whispered her name gently why he hadn't pressed his advantage.

If he had kissed her in that first instant of wonder she might not have stopped him, because she could admit at least to herself that there had been a physical attraction from the beginning, even when he annoyed the hell out of her. He still did most of the time, yet despite the way he'd needled her, he had never pushed her the way Neal had tried to when... oh gods, and now she was thinking ill of the dead. Emma took a deep breath and locked down all her emotions. About Neal, about Hook, about anything but Henry. She couldn't deal with this right now.

"Emma." Hook breathed her name again, for the first time not being able to read what was going on behind her rapidly shifting eyes.

Until he saw the walls go back up. He immediately let his hand drop and took a small step back. He would never truly push her, not when he could see the fear and pain under the hard shell, but he could see the loneliness as well. A loneliness he knew all too well, one he'd lived with for so long he almost hadn't felt it anymore - until she reminded him that he could. And he wanted to erase it from her eyes nearly as much as he wanted it gone from his own soul, but he knew pushing wasn't and never would be the answer with her.

"My own mother was a wonderful woman, what little I remember of her at least. She died when I was barely six." Hook said softly, dropping his eyes from her to look at the ground. He'd seen the question flash in her eyes when she heard the bitterness in his voice earlier, but knew she would never ask. Never push for anything personal when she was unwilling to speak of herself in return. But though he'd not spoken of his mother with anyone since Liam, he found himself wanting to tell her. Wanting her to understand why he had faith in her. Hers in him was what had brought him back, was the light in his darkness, and he would do anything he could to help her believe in herself. "A sickness, one that took her quickly though thankfully without much pain. But she was an amazing mother, and one who I just knew would have done anything for me. I never questioned her love for me. And you love Henry that same way. I was around your town long enough to hear the stories, love, you love him enough to break a curse. And they say there's no more dangerous and determined a creature in the world than a mother fighting for her child, and you're already one of the most determined and brilliant women I've ever met. It's why I know you'll find your lad."

Emma studied him for a long moment, completely at a loss for words. Once again she could hear the complete sincerity in his voice, and as had happened the other times she just didn't know how to handle it. The flirty pirate who could barely open his mouth without an innuendo falling out she could deal with, but the hints of the good man she was starting to see underneath were a completely different thing. Despite the fact that she shut him down at nearly every turn, he kept opening himself up to her like this. And the absolute faith in his eyes was something Emma had never seen directed at her, well, not from anyone but Henry and maybe her parents, but family was different, and... and if his mother had been that wonderful, then where had the bitterness she heard in his voice come from? No, she couldn't care right now. She couldn't let him become more of a person to her, couldn't let herself think of anything but Henry. She needed to concentrate on Henry right now, and she found somewhat ironically that his faith that they would find Henry was exactly what she needed to reaffirm her own. " _We'll_ find him."

She believed it again, he could hear it in her voice, and Hook offered her a soft smile as he heard the strength and determination that had first attracted him to her, and at the fact that she had used the plural. "Think you can sleep now, lass?"

Emma felt her eyes widen at the gentle question, and the panic at just how well he read her started to flutter in her stomach again. But there was no judgement, or worse, pity, in his tone, and again his eyes showed the understanding of someone who knew that dreams could be far from kind. She offered him a smile in return, small but real, and said just as softly, "Aye."

"I'll take you back."

Emma nodded softly, and when she moved to stand at his back to again follow his footsteps, she gripped his arm for a brief moment, giving it that slight shake people used when words failed them, the look in her eyes conveying how grateful she was for what he had said. Hook took a deep breath and just nodded briefly before she moved behind him, small hands again coming to rest on his waist, maybe a touch more firmly than before.

He led her back to camp, then resumed the watch, the conversation swirling round and round in his mind. It was clear she'd been hurt many times in her life, and he knew how that could make someone afraid to connect again. If you didn't let anyone close then no one could hurt you. She'd said it to him, flat out, and he found is somewhat ironic that while she'd used that to try and convince him to be a part of something, she herself didn't follow her own advice.

Except at brief moments, like when... Hook caught a flash of movement out in the jungle, and went on alert immediately. He crouched down against a tree, peering out towards where he had seen something. He waited long minutes, about to conclude it had been nothing, when he heard a sound off to his left. His head was still turning when a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him, and before he could call out a warning the world went dark.

As he was falling, he heard the demon child's voice.

"You shouldn't have come back, Captain."

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks so much for all the comments and favs, I'm so glad everyone in enjoying this! [Oh, and this should be fairly clear as the story goes on, but I'm going to be skipping over some of the scenes from the show, and changing others. If a scene is skipped, just assume it happened as it did on the show. Cause I don't see a need to put them all in if they're exactly the same, and I imagine that would bore you as well.]

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Stars

by Lady Callista

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"I have had to walk alone, and the stars have tried to guide me home."

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Chapter 2:

"So much for being on watch."

"It doesn't matter, David, we just have to find her. She wasn't taken, she walked out of here on her own, and..."

"It was a bloody sleeping spell, _mate_ , you wouldn't have done any better."

"I told you we shouldn't have stayed with the pirate."

"Oh, that's rich coming from the Evil Queen."

"ENOUGH!" Emma's voice cut through the bickering as she stepped back into the clearing where they were camped, waving the blank map in her hand. "Pan wanted to have a little chat with me. He says this is a map to find Henry, only it's blank."

"Are you alright?" Snow rushed forward at once, and Emma nodded as she took her hand reassuringly.

"And it was a sleeping spell, or something like it, cause I tried to wake you up before I left and I couldn't." Emma soothed her mother, but caught Hook's eye as she said it, for some reason needing to make sure he knew she didn't blame him.

"Why would he give you a blank map?" Snow wondered.

"He says it won't be blank if I admit who I am."

"And who are you, Swan?" Hook asked at once.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She mumbled as she stared at the map, completely at a loss as to what Pan meant.

"Perhaps I would."

Emma's head whipped up and she fixed Hook with a hard glare, but his eyes were open and honest and for a moment she couldn't think. She flashed back to the last time she had watched them all fight, and how she'd told them they all needed to be what they were. But it couldn't be that simple. "I'm a mother."

There was a pregnant pause as everyone waited, but the map remained blank and Emma sank down to sit on a log with a deep sigh.

"I'm a mother, but I'm also a tracker. We'll just follow him back to his camp." Snow was already shrugging into her quiver, and David's sword was in his hand.

"But he can fly." Emma reminded her mother.

"Not all the stories are right, Emma, I mean...they also say Peter Pan is a hero and that..." Snow tilted her head towards Hook even as she trailed off. "We have to at least try."

Emma gave them directions and distance, even knowing it would be futile. But they couldn't ignore any chance, no matter how small. She ignored Hook and Regina as they continued to argue, concentrating on the map, her thoughts spinning so quickly they didn't even have time to fully form before being discarded. She was Emma, she was a mother, she was... well, so many things. How could only one thing sum a person up?

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize it had grown silent around her, and she started when Hook settled on the log next to her, head snapping up to realize Regina was no longer in the clearing.

"She went to check the other direction, where I was standing watch. I thought I saw something an instant before...although I told her there's no point in checking."

He trailed off, and Emma could read both his embarrassment and annoyance that he'd been caught off guard. "Did you know he could put people to sleep?"

"Nay, but with that demon I should know to expect anything."

"Like a blank map?" Emma scowled down at it again, not in the mood to offer reassurance. She didn't blame him, and he knew it, and as far as she was concerned that was the end of the matter.

"If he told you there's a way to read it then there is, and you'll find the way."

His eyes were earnest, sincere again, and like earlier she felt an odd sense of connection to him. He believed fully in what he was saying, in her, and for the life of her she couldn't understand why. She remembered his other words when he'd told her she was a good mother, but this was so much more than that. This wasn't about sacrificing to save her son, not really, this was about riddles and freaking games, and she'd always hated both.

"But I'm a dozen different things. I'm a mother and a woman and a daughter and... and dammit..." Emma glared down at the map. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."

"Pardon?"

"Oh, nothing." Emma sighed. "I just figured everything else I thought was fiction is real..."

Hook shook his head, realizing she was yet again making a reference to something in her world. "It won't be something flippant, love, nor will it be something as simple as you being a mother."

"Because you know so much about magic." Regina's voice rang out as she approached them with a scowl on her face.

"I've learned a fair amount in my time, even if I can't wield it myself." Hook retorted. "More importantly, I know Pan. And he likes his games."

"What game? There's nothing there." Regina responded, waving a hand imperiously at the blank parchment.

"If he said there's a map on this parchment, then there is." Hook rose to face off with Regina.

"Great. So if I just stop denying who I really am, then we'll be able to read this thing." Emma huffed, rising as well to try and break the tension. "But I have no idea what that means."

"Swan, you do know. You have to, or..."

"But how do we know Pan won't use it to lead us straight into a trap?" Regina cut him off.

"Because he doesn't need to!" Hook snapped, rounding on her. "This whole island's his bloody trap. He can control anything here, giving us a false clue makes no sense."

"There's no sign of him anywhere."

Hook let out a snarl as the prince and princess interrupted. The snarl wasn't for their news, he'd known they could never trail Pan, it was the same one he'd given the queen when she returned and interrupted him and Emma.

His mind raced even as the others began strategic planning, and he helped where he could, but he knew it would be pointless. His mind rolled back to the beanstalk, and how one lost soul had recognized another. He had an inkling in his mind as to what Pan wanted of Emma, but knew that she'd never admit to it with the others around. If it even occurred to her.

He crossed his arms, watching as she admitted again to all the things she'd said to him earlier, focused on them now, as if it would make a difference. And tried again to tell them of the folly of Regina using magic on the map, even knowing they wouldn't listen.

He'd had to pay the price for breaking Pan's rules before, and as he trudged into the Dark Jungle after them, he only hoped the price wasn't too steep this time.

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoO A few hours later OoOoOoOoOoO_

Emma started as footsteps approached, and her head whipped up, half drawing her sword before realizing it was only Hook. She was surprised enough to say, "You're actually the last person I thought they would send after me."

Hook chuckled as he approached, sitting on the log beside her but keeping his distance. "Your parents are still arguing about which of them should talk to you, and what they should say, and the queen is staring into the jungle silently raging. I had the tact to not point out that I told her it wouldn't work."

"That's not tact, that's survival instincts." Emma couldn't help the slight chuckle that escaped her lips, and she rubbed at her eyes tiredly as she finally looked up from the still frustratingly blank map and into eyes the color of the ocean. "I don't know what Pan wants."

He shifted slightly closer at the twinge of hopelessness and despair in her voice, letting their knees bump together, and when she only continued to look at him he reached out and placed his hand softly on her knee. "We'll figure it out, love."

"You said it wouldn't be easy, and that we couldn't cheat." Emma said softly, looking back down at the map to avoid the softness in his eyes. She had barely figured out how to deal with Captain Hook, and the hints she kept getting of the good man underneath were more than she could handle when she had to focus on finding Henry. But more and more she found herself unable to resist these quiet moments alone with him. For some reason, he was the only one who seemed to truly understand her, and the fact that they had been that way from almost the beginning was both scary and wonderful. "You know how Pan thinks, you know his games."

"Aye, lessons hard won. Survival, and success, aren't always pretty, love." His fingers rose unconsciously to the slight scar on his cheek. "But we'll win."

"Why are you the one who's so sure of that?" Emma whispered.

He squeezed her knee gently before rising, turning about to see if the sky was visible through the dense trees. By some miracle he was in luck, and he tilted his head towards her as he gestured up to the stars. She rose and came to him, and Hook froze when she slid her hand into his, her cheek brushing his shoulder as she tilted her head to see the constellation he was trying to show her. Not wanting to scare her away, he decided no reaction was the best one, and he spoke softly. "It's called _Angelus_ , or simply the Angel. That top point, the halo, is Neverland's version of your North Star. It's a guide and a guardian, and as long as you can see it you can always find your way. And we will. None of us will give up until we have the lad, Swan, you know that."

"Why are you willing to risk your life for this?"

Killian started, but when he went to pull back she only squeezed his hand gently, his first indication she was willing to acknowledge that she'd taken his hand in the first place. He shifted slowly, interlacing their fingers, taking a deep breath when she made no objection. In fact he thought that maybe she held on a little tighter.

"That's a rather long story, lass, if you really want to understand." He sighed, taking comfort from her touch, knowing that this was her taking the first step, this was her letting her walls down, if only the smallest bit. He thought back to their talk the night before, and how she'd seemed to take comfort in his assurances. She was reaching out and he would give her whatever she asked for, but he understood and respected her goal of finding her lad before anything else, and the long stories could wait until they had time.

"Is there a short version?" Her eyes were still on the stars, but her cheek shifted slightly more firmly on to the side of his shoulder.

"The short version is I'm part of the reason Bae ended up stuck in Neverland, and if I can save his son I will." He chanced a glance down at her as he spoke, and when she shifted to look at him with eyes filled with understanding rather than accusation, he chanced adding, "Also, as I may have mentioned, I quite fancy Henry's mother."

"When she's not yelling at you." Emma whispered, but the words lacked any heat.

"Or abandoning me to giants."

She could tell he meant the words to be mostly teasing, but they were so close she couldn't miss the flash of hurt that went though his eyes. "I couldn't take the chance..."

"That you were wrong about me, I remember." His tone was still soft, although she could see his jaw clenching as he obviously thought about it. "But think about that, love. It means that you did believe me, you did trust me. Or at least you thought maybe you could. And you didn't tell me to bugger off when I followed you out here either, so I'm taking that as progress. You said once that we understand each other, and..."

"Listen." Emma suddenly pulled her hand from his, reaching for her sword.

He went on alert at once, but relaxed almost instantly when he realized what she was hearing. "Swan, it's..." He trailed off, not sure how to explain.

"The lost ones, crying for their mothers. Pan told me last night." Her voice went flat, but her head was tilted and her eyes closed as if she was concentrating, trying to hear more rather than trying to ignore them as Hook and his men had always done. "But I asked David about them earlier and he said he didn't hear them, even when he was on watch."

"Not everyone hears them." Hook responded softly, trying to see if his guess was right, yet knowing if he pushed she would deny it. Yet she didn't take the opening he gave her and ask, only continued to listen to the cries, and it only took him a minute to realize why. His hand went to her shoulder comfortingly before he even realized he'd reached out. "You won't hear him, love. He knows you're coming for him."

"I know how he feels right now, though. Being alone with no one who knows you, no one who cares about you. I'm a mother, but when I hear those cries I don't feel like one. I don't feel like a princess or a savior, I just feel like one of those lost ones. Someone who didn't have anyone to love them, who didn't matter to anyone and didn't think they ever would." Emma took a deep breath, both of them freezing as the words spilled out of her, as for an instant her walls flickered like a dying light bulb and let him in.

Hook couldn't stop the small smile that flashed as he caught the map glowing out of the corner of his eye, and he used the gentle hand he still had on her shoulder to try and turn her to face him. To his relief and slight surprise, she didn't resist, and even raised her eyes to meet his own. "Emma, who are you?"

The gentleness in his tone was an echo of when he'd asked the same question earlier today, a touch more intimate since he almost never used her given name. His eyes were sad yet somehow comforting, and when they flicked down to the map still in her hand she couldn't help but follow his gaze, her breath catching when she saw the glow of magic.

His hand tightened on her shoulder in support, and Emma took the map in both hands, staring down at it as she whispered, "I'm an orphan."

The blank page was suddenly filled with ink, and Emma took several shaky breaths, reminding herself that she didn't have time to cry. She offered him the map at once, as he actually knew the geography of the island, and felt the loss when he had to remove his hand from her shoulder to take it. But rather than look at it immediately, his hand dropped to his side and she saw him reach towards her with his hook, hesitate, then slowly move it up until the curve brushed the edge of her chin. Surprised at his gentleness, even thought it really should stop surprising her at this point, and at the way he used the hook the same way he would have his hand, she didn't pretend to misunderstand and raised her eyes to meet his own.

"You matter to people now, love. Never forget that." The moment held, and just when Emma was starting to feel like it was too much he drew back, eyes moving to the map even as he started to head back to camp. "Now, let's find your lad."

"You knew, didn't you?" She couldn't help but ask softly as she followed him, amazed at how he never pushed when she thought he would. He had insisted once that he was a gentleman, and she was beginning to believe that was actually true.

"I suspected, knowing Pan, but it wouldn't have helped to hear it from me, in fact you might have taken longer to accept it. The demon said you had to figure it out, and you did." He flashed a brilliant smile back at her. "I knew you would."

"How do you always understand?'

They were almost back to the others, who Hook could still hear arguing, and he paused, turning back enough to catch her eyes. "Only lost boys and girls can hear the others crying, love. I hear them too."

Before she could come up with an answer to that he had joined the others, and Emma stared after him for a long moment before joining them, amazed at the layers of himself he offered to her so casually. He both understood her and believed in her, something she hadn't had for so very long, if ever.

She had a brief flash of what her life could be once they found Henry. A home with her son, and parents, and all the friends they'd made along the way. And for the first time, she couldn't imagine that life without Hook in it.

TBC...

AN2: So for anyone who didn't know, according to the DVD commentary on S3, "The emotional scene where Emma admits to her mother that she still feels like an orphan was originally written as a scene between Emma and Hook, but Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis felt it would be a more poignant scene with Mary Margaret because of the themes of the episode." And yeah, it was a great scene, but knowing it was originally thought of as a way to bring her and Hook closer stuck in my mind, and I've wanted to write it forever. Wanting to finally do this scene was the inspiration for doing this whole story. Hope you enjoyed, and reviews are appreciated as always!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: I'm so glad that this is being enjoyed, to be honest I was slightly nervous about the last part, because that scene is such a classic that although I've wanted to rewrite it since I found out it was originally a CS scene, I was hesitant to do so. So thanks so much, everyone, for all the good reviews of it. We're going to jump to the end of Quite the Common Fairy now, as there really isn't a good place anywhere in the episode for an added scene. So what I'm doing is putting a "night" between when Tink comes back to the camp with them, and when she storms off because they don't have a plan to get off the island. Cause it can be hard to tell on the show when the nights are, so I'm using that to put good CS scenes at appropriate points and saying it was that night. I think it works well. This is a bit after that brief shot at the end when they're all sitting around the fire and he offers her a coconut.

* * *

Stars

by Lady Callista

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky. I live to let you shine."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Chapter 3:

"We have to tell Tinkerbell..." Emma still stressed the name as if in disbelief, despite that fact that she was sitting in the Neverland jungle with a bunch of other fairytale characters, "our plan, and we don't really have one."

"She's agreed to stay the night with us, we'll come up with something by tomorrow." Hook answered softly, offering her another coconut.

Emma shook her head, casting her eyes towards her parents, who were curled up near the fire, finally asleep. Regina and Tink were off in the jungle keeping watch, despite how pointless that had proven to be in the past, and that left her alone with the pirate.

"It's why you and Mary Margaret made it so she was on first watch."

"Aye, lass." He smiled at her figuring it out. "She'll sleep later, give the rest of us time to plan. Although we should sleep now, our watch will come before you know it."

"I'm not tired."

"You're exhausted, we all are after today's trek."

Emma sighed, shifting once again against the huge tree they were both leaning back on, trying to get comfortable. Ten years of always sleeping in a bed had made her softer than she realized, as the soft vegetation they had used to fashion sleeping mats were like beds at the Plaza compared to some of the places she'd slept as a teenager. "I know I should be tired, but..."

Hook wisely held back a chuckle as she squirmed around for the fourth time in as many minutes, obviously feeling the effects of sleeping on the ground for days now. It was on the tip of his tongue to suggest that he could tire her out, but there was something about her right now that was softer, just sightly more open than usual, and he didn't want to make her retreat behind her walls, as his more risque comments tended to make her do. Instead, he said softly, "The sooner you sleep, the sooner it will be morning. The sooner we'll be on the move."

"But even if Tinkerbell can get us into the camp..." Emma's words trailed off into a huge yawn as she shifted yet again.

This time he couldn't help the grin that flashed, and was about to again remind her that they needed to sleep when the silence around them was broken by the crying of children. Hook closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath even as Emma out a soft groan.

"How did you deal with it for...I don't even know how long you were here."

"The full truth of it is I don't rightly know either, lass." Hook said softly, leaning his head back against the tree with a sigh. "Time passes differently here, and after enough passes it seems pointless to count anyway. I know around two hundred years passed in the Enchanted Forest; I believe it was somewhat less here, although it seemed inordinately longer."

"Two hundred..." Emma's eyes widened. "So, what, you're just used to it?"

Hook shook his head slowly, surprised when she didn't make a quip about his age. Maybe they were both declaring peace for the night, he pondered, remembering his earlier decision to not antagonize her. "You never truly become accustomed to it, but there comes a point when you learn to sleep or go mad. It's not quite as bad below decks on the Jolly. And rum helps as well."

Emma sighed as he uncorked his ever-present flask, offering it to her with no hint of a smirk or flourish. She took a healthy drink before passing it back to him. "What, do you have bottles of rum stashed all around the island?"

"Casks, they hold more."

Emma's eyes widened at the matter-of-fact tone in his voice, and she tried to decide if he was serious. He'd left Neverland a bit more than 30 years ago, so it seemed like it had to be a lie, but her superpower wasn't tingling. "Seriously?"

"Or would you believe the flask is magic and just never empties?"

This time she chuckled, although she didn't know which was more unlikely, and his face was giving nothing away. "That would be quite the treasure for a pirate." She shook his head when he offered her more though, as much as she wanted to lose herself in the fog alcohol could bring she knew she needed to keep her wits about her.

"For any orphan stuck here." He whispered as he took another large sip before tucking the flask away again.

"What happened to your dad?" Emma questioned softly, freezing when she saw his face go blank. "Sorry, it's just you know why I'm an orphan, and you told me about your mom so I..."

"It's alright, love." Hook soothed, "It's just not a memory I routinely care to dwell on. And few have ever cared enough to ask."

There was something in his eyes she couldn't place, some trace of what she would have said was shame, but that made no sense. And it didn't match his words at all. His voice was gentle, absent the teasing she expected to hear, and it made the automatic response that she didn't care die on the tip of her tongue, and caused both a slight panic and a slight warmth to flutter through her.

Although these late night chats had begun simply because it was better than being alone with her own thoughts and the echoing voices of crying children, they'd also given her glimpses into the gentleman he insisted he was, and she couldn't honestly say she didn't feel anything for him. Had since the moment he brought back the bean, because he was the only one who had ever come back for her like that. But while she wouldn't confirm it, the panic at letting someone in wouldn't let her, the warmth flowing through her when she saw that same care reflected in his eyes was enough for her to give him a soft smile instead of a sharp retort.

Hook broke eye contact then, sighing and leaning his head back against the tree again, eyes flicking over the dense foliage above for any hint of the stars. "My mother was actually the first to tell us the stories of the stars, and once she passed my father continued her teachings. Liam's favorite..."

"Liam?" Emma questioned softly.

"My brother." Hook's voice was a whisper, and she saw his face close down again.

"You have..." Emma trailed off, realizing that even if nothing bad had happened, which she doubted based on his face, his brother would be long dead unless he'd been in Neverland as well. "I'm sorry."

"Twas long ago, lass, and a story for another night."

His voice was barely a whisper, and still held no trace of inuendo, yet Emma's normal reaction to the assumption that these chats would continue would still have been annoyance; if not for the fact that she wanted them to. Although that in itself was rather annoying at the moment.

"Liam's favorite story was always about a pair of brothers, heroes who traveled the world doing all the things heroes do in those stories, including saving each other a hundred times over. No matter what, the brothers could always depend on each other." He used the point of his hook to make circles in the dirt as he spoke, lightly sketching in the lines between them to show her two stick figure people, one star a shared point between them that immediately made her think of joined hands. "Our father saved it for special occasions, so when he told it to us one night for no apparent reason, we got excited. He told us we were going on a journey, sailing to a new city where an old mate of his had a wonderful job waiting for him. We left the next morning, passengers on a small merchant ship. That night he told us my favorite story, and the next morning when we woke he was gone."

"He left you on a ship in the middle of the ocean? Wait, he would have had to plan..."

"He didn't." Hook could hear the bitterness in his own voice. "He found out there were soldiers waiting at our next port, and traded my brother and I to the captain in exchange for a rowboat. Apparently he was wanted for something or other."

Horror surged through her at the idea of a parent trading their children for freedom, at least his mother hadn't had a choice, and in some ways her parents hadn't either, but to literally sell a child was so abhorrent to her that she almost couldn't believe it.

Open book that she was, Hook interpreted her reaction immediately, and couldn't help a dry chuckle. "The selling and trading of children wasn't entirely uncommon in my world, love, especially back then. And it's not as if we'd have faired any better if he'd been arrested."

"But then at least it wouldn't have been his choice to leave you." Emma whispered, images of all the foster parents who had rejected her floating through her head. Neal's face tried to take dominance, but she quickly locked that away, it was the last thing she wanted to be thinking about right now. Equally unbidden, an image of Mr. and Mrs. Eickholt flicked into her mind.

"I don't think that would make a difference, Swan."

"It does." Emma whispered.

Hook had been turning towards her, but froze at the sadness in her tone and at the pure shock that she was opening up to him. Instead of continuing, he remained silent, hoping that she would go on. And was still shocked when, after a long pause, she did.

"I was 9, and it was the fifth home I'd been put in. I was there for almost four months, which was a record, and they actually liked me and it seemed like maybe they would adopt me. Then one day my case worker picked me up from school instead of Mrs. Eickholt. He'd picked her up on their lunch hour, and they'd both been killed in a car accident. The only people who had ever maybe wanted me, but they were dead and I couldn't be mad at them."

"Emma." He said her name softly, hand going to her knee in comfort, withdrawing quickly when she stiffened. "Sorry."

Emma's eyes slid open just in time to catch the hurt in his, and realized that he'd taken her shock at his touch for rejection. Before she could overthink it she reached out and took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together like the night before and causing him to sigh softly. Her other hand came up to rest lightly on his forearm, covering the tattoo she'd seen only briefly. "Would you still love her if she'd chosen to leave?"

His fingers tightened at the same time his jaw did, and he relaxed them with deliberate effort, trying to calm himself by shifting his grip slightly to let his thumb run back and forth over her inner wrist. "Aye. You don't just stop loving someone, Emma, no matter what they do or how they hurt you. Not if you truly love them." He saw the protest on her face and rapidly continued, "They say there's nothing more powerful than love turned to hate, but I don't actually believe that the love changes, just that it's buried under the hate. You can hate someone and still love them. You may not be able to trust them again, or be with them, but once you love it's forever. Or it wouldn't hurt so bloody much. Can you truly say you disagree?"

She was still trying to process the passion behind the surprisingly poetic words when she realized he had asked a question at the end. One she didn't know the answer to. Did she still love Neal? If he hadn't died, if she'd had to deal with it, could she have gone back to him? Could she have trusted him again? Or, as Hook said, even if she couldn't, was the love really still there? Under the bitterness and anger and resentment, did she still love Neal? She was relieved she would never have to answer that question.

"I don't know." She murmured, and hesitantly turned the question back on him, having bared way more than she could believe already. "So you still love your dad?"

"Love and hate, twined together always." He locked down all other thoughts on the matter, staring down at the constellation he'd scratched into the ground. "Though I was still on the ship, I felt as though I was the one who had gone overboard, only without a dingy. It was just this sinking within me, as if I were being dragged underwater no matter how hard I struggled. It was the most dreadful I'd ever felt in my life, and I... well, I don't know how I'd have survived it if not for Liam. He was always there to steady me, to make me believe we could achieve whatever we set our hearts on. His favorite constellation became mine as well, because it was us. Together we could stay above water, together we could do anything. As bad as it was at times, I had him, always. I don't know how you did it alone, love, and it's how I know you're strong enough to do whatever you set your mind to. Because you did it alone. I couldn't have."

He wasn't fishing for a compliment, and he wasn't trying to soften her by paying one to her. She could hear the sincere admiration in his tone, with no hint of anything else, yet just from what she knew of him she knew that he was selling himself short. He'd been alive for too long to not be a survivor, in the same way she was. Whatever it took. "You would have if you'd had to."

"Was that a compliment I detected there, Swan?" He smirked, purposly breaking the tension.

She grinned back, amazed as always at how he read her moods and knew exactly when to prod and when to back off. "Just a comment on how stubborn you are."

The smile gave her away, and Hook started to laugh before remembering her parents sleeping a few yards away and letting only a soft chuckle escape. "I prefer to think of it as determination. And patience. I know my destination, and the exact course and speed doesn't much concern me."

"And where do you want to end up?" Emma dared to whisper, the brief levity having given her the breath she needed to risk lowering her walls another scant inch.

"You know the answer to that, Swan." His voice was husky, his accent slightly more liquid than normal, and Emma felt a burst of heat go through her at the desire in his eyes.

"Tell me." She murmured, squeezing his hand softly, wondering if he would let the moment hold or back off with a joke or innuendo. For the first time she wasn't sure which one she wanted, and with as good as he read her she wondered what that would mean here. Their faces were barely a foot apart, and she saw the heat swirl through his eyes before they softened and his thumb resumed stroking over her wrist.

"With you in my arms."

Emma broke eye contact, uncomfortable with the sincerity in his voice. Her line of sight crossed over her parents, and her mother curled up against her father's chest, his arms tight around her even in sleep. Neal was the only man who had ever held her that way, and Emma could still remember the first time she'd fallen asleep in his arms. It had been the most safe and comforted she had ever felt. She wondered if she was crazy even as she considered it, but like before she managed to find that thread of trust before all her insecurities and fears could talk her out of it. Her eyes still on her parents, she whispered, "Well, you have to make a better pillow than the ground."

Hook took a deep breath at the note of consideration in her voice. He'd completely expected her to either freeze him out or try and turn it into a joke, but had been unable to answer her question anything less than honestly. He followed her slightly wistful gaze to her parents, and wondered how long it had been since anyone held her at night. And tried to forget how infinintly longer it had been since he'd fallen asleep with a lass in his arms. "I should hope so, love."

She didn't answer, eyes still on her parents, but when he released her hand and scooted away from the tree a bit, molding the bedding around his head before laying down on his back, her eyes snapped to him. Neither of them spoke, and Emma spared a thought to Regina's reaction upon finding them cuddled up together, or even worse, her parents, who were taking second watch. But the thought of being held was more powerful than the worries about later, and Emma took a deep breath, steadied by the gentleness in his eyes instead of scared of it for once, and curled up against his side, wrapping an arm around his torso and letting her head rest on his chest.

Hook curled his arm up around her back softly, careful as always of the hook, stroking the hand on his chest softly before sliding his hand up her arm to rest on her shoulder, pulling her against him just a tad tighter. "Sleep, Swan. And in the morning we'll go get your boy."

TBC...

AN2: So yeah, I did another thing. Adam shared a page on twitter a while back of a scene cut from 4.08, where Hook tells Emma about how his father abandoned him and Liam. It would have gone right after his "wounds made when we're young tend to linger." After she teases him about his age, he tells her the story and how it made him feel, relating it to how she grew up alone as well, saying... well, basically what I based this chapter on. Edited slightly as we've now seen the scene and they did change it a bit. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks again for all the encouragement, everyone! I wanted to get this done before the holidays, even though I posted a chapter a few days ago, cause I know after this I won't have a chance to write for days. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays!

We're going to pick up a bit into "Good Form," as "Nasty Habits" doesn't really have a good spot. This starts right after they've discovered all they can in Neal's cave, and Emma brushes of Hook after his comment that he knows what it feels like to lose hope. And then David reminds him Emma will never like him because he's nothing but a pirate and he starts remembering being more.

* * *

Stars

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

 _"For my part I know nothing with any certainty but the sight of the stars makes me dream."_

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Chapter 4:

 _"So when will we arrive?" Liam asked as Killian joined him in the captain's cabin, closing the door before joining him at the table, which was spread for a late dinner._

 _Killian grinned as he reached to pour himself a glass of wine. "I'm still getting used to navigating the stars from amongst them, but I believe we'll reach our destination by morning. Should be straight sailing til then."_

 _"I knew you were the man for the job." Liam grinned back as they both tucked into the stew. "We've made quite the life for ourselves, little brother, haven't we?"_

 _"Younger brother." Killian corrected automatically. "And indeed, we have. From indentured cabin boys to captain and first mate of the finest ship in the fleet."_

 _"Officers and gentlemen." Liam winked at him, echoing the phrase their first captain had repeated all too often._

"You're unusually quiet."

Hook jolted out of his thoughts as Emma dropped back to walk beside him. They were heading back to their previous night's campsite, nearly an hour from Bae's cave and that much closer to Pan and his encampment.

He kept his eyes focused ahead of him, tilting his head now to hear the chatter that his own thoughts had been preventing him from noticing. He took a deep breath, remembering how she had shut him down in the cave. And how bringing Liam up with her last night had been one of the catalysts for thinking of him now. She had hurled the accusation at him in the cave as if they hadn't been bonding all along, as if all the ways he had opened up to her meant nothing. "Only a fool speaks to the wind, Swan."

Emma's steps faltered as she saw the flash of hurt, the same one she'd seen when she snapped about his effort to bond with her, and she felt both a stab of guilt and a flicker of fear once she figured out his phrasing. Her response had been automatic, all the feelings Neal's cave had brought swirling through her and slamming every wall she had into place. After the way he'd comforted her the previous nights he hadn't deserved it, but she couldn't risk what was starting to happen between them.

She remembered his question the night before, and knew she'd been lying to herself and him when she said she didn't know. She'd known long before she said it today that she still loved Neal, even through all the pain and rage, but it had been easier not admitting it.

Because she wanted to let someone in again, but now that the pain and memories were fresh she was more terrified than ever of doing so.

Above and beyond that however, anything that distracted from finding Henry needed to stop right now. She couldn't deal with anything else, and the relief at being able to bottle all of the conflicting fear and hope and love and hate was almost staggering. "I need to focus on Henry."

She caught up to him just in time to catch his eyes soften slightly, but then the mask went back up. "No matter, I suspected I was merely a distraction from the wailing in the night."

"Hook, I..."

Hook felt his breath catch even as he berated himself for the pain in her eyes. But dammit to the seven hells, it was how he felt right now. He'd suspected it at the time, but been so astonished she was opening up to him at all that he hadn't concerned himself with it. Once she got to know him, he'd thought, but of course she wouldn't ever see him as more than a pirate.

She'd take his comfort alone in the dark, but would never acknowledge the understanding between them in front of others. He had thought she was seeing his sincerity, but apparently not. He'd tried to let her see the man he'd once been, and wondered now if even Liam would recognize him. She'd said back on the beach she needed all of them to be who they were, and what she'd called him was a pirate. "What's the new plan?"

Emma took a deep breath at his clipped words, the last time he had closed himself off this much was back when he was with Cora and she was stuck in an enchanted cell. "I'll tell everyone when we're back at camp."

"You don't have one yet, do you?"

The taunt was clear in his voice, and Emma took a deep breath. She'd hurt him and he was lashing out in kind, it was easy enough to see what she knew she did it herself. She wasn't the only one that used masks and walls and bravado to hide past wounds. "I will."

He didn't answer, and Emma chanced grabbing his arm, stopping them both on the path as they faced off. His eyes were a darker blue than normal, and she could see the conflicting emotions raging through them, but although he raised a sardonic eyebrow, as if asking why she had stopped them, he didn't speak.

"Hook, I can't do this right now." Her voice was barely a whisper, and she could feel tendrils wiggling through the tight hold she had on all her emotions. "I need to focus on Henry, and I can't do that and... and... this." Her one hand still gripped his arm tightly, and she used the other to gesture between them.

"Then best think of that plan on the way back." His face softened slightly. "We'll find him."

His words were as soft and sincere as ever, but Emma missed the sparkle in his eyes as he turned and resumed walking. With a sigh, she followed. She really did have to think of a plan.

 _OoOoOoOoOo A few hours later oOoOoOoOoO_

"You really saved his life?" Emma asked softly as she followed him down a path away from camp.

"That surprises you?" His voice was equally soft, emotions swirling rapidly through him. He'd saved David for her, as he had admitted, although it had been more than that as well. He knew what it was to lose a father, and even after how she'd rebuffed him earlier in the day he cared enough to spare her that pain if he could. But he hadn't expected the prince to acknowledge it, even with the lie he had used, and he now found himself uncertain of what to say to her.

"Well, you and David aren't exactly... How do you say it? Mates?"

He cringed slightly at her imitation of his accent, but said honestly, "Doesn't mean I'd leave your _father_ to perish on this island."

Emma remembered his face when he'd told her of how his own father left, and felt her hold on her emotions crack yet again. "Thank you."

He saw the chink in her walls, saw the flash of memory she wouldn't acknowledge in the light of day, and broke the moment with a smirk. "Well, perhaps gratitude is in order now." He tapped his lips lightly, her earlier rejection flowing away on the tides as he again saw the consideration in her eyes. Saw the flickers of trust and what he still dared to hope was affection.

"Yeah, that's what the thank you was for." Emma couldn't help the grin even as her eyes tracked briefly to his lips. She thought of how close they'd been the other night, when she'd thought he was going to kiss her but he had instead backed away. She couldn't deny she wanted to know how he would kiss. If the heat he could make flow through her with just his stormy eyes and soft murmurs was any indication...

"Mmm." He murmured, eyes on hers as he took a small step closer. "That all your father's life is worth to you?" His earlier frustration with her walls was gone, but he fell back to teasing rather than risk opening himself too much after her rejection earlier. He hadn't been lying to David when he said he didn't do it for him, and he knew the prince had assumed he meant it was for Emma, but it was more than that.

It was to spare her the pain, certainly, but it was for himself as well. He hadn't thought she would ever know; he had done it to prove to himself that he could still do the right thing. Still have good form even when there was no advantage to it, and indeed a great deal of risk. Prove to himself that he could still put someone else before himself, something that until he met her he hadn't done in far too long. He had tried at times, but in the end he had always chosen himself and his revenge. Until he'd met her. If he had been a lesser man he would have been scared of what he'd risk for her. What he would give up.

But he wasn't ready to tell her that, and so he teased her instead, wiggling his eyebrows at her suggestively when for a long second she only tilted her head to consider him. He was giving her an out as well, however, should she desire it. She could let herself be annoyed with him and stomp off, which was fully the outcome he expected. Instead she shifted minutely closer.

"Please." Her voice was almost dismissive, but he could see the myriad of thoughts flickering behind her eyes. And the heat that was starting to melt her walls. "You couldn't handle it."

"Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it." He needled even as he shifted even closer. His eyes flicked to her lips and back up as his head tilted slightly, but he made it clear it was her choice. He knew when he could tease and push and when she needed room to breath, and as much as he wanted to taste her this had to be her choice. Or she would run faster than a sailor from a hurricane.

He saw the flash of lust in her eyes, and it gave him a split second of warning before she grabbed his coat and yanked him to her, their lips fusing in a fury of passion and challenge. He brought his hand up to her hair, stroking through it as he'd spent half the night doing, his breath catching and heart flooding as she rose slightly on her toes, deepening the kiss and letting him feel the long line of her body burning against his. In that instant, he forgot about everything but her.

Emma released him with a gasp, feeling a physical wrenching inside of her as she forced herself to pull away. It was as if everything had shifted in that moment, everything had felt right and perfect, and she had felt safe, and lo...

"That was... uh..."

He was looking at her with stunned disbelief, his heart in his eyes, and at any other moment she would have grinned to have finally figured out how to make him speechless. Instead the panic surged through her at how things that seemed perfect always fell apart, and how much easier it was to not risk it in the first place. "A one-time thing. Don't follow me, wait five minutes. Go, get some firewood or something."

"As you wish." He spoke to her back, heat and disbelief and wonder still surging through him, and his breath caught when she paused. She turned partially back to him, just enough for him to catch an odd half-smile on her face, the one he was starting to realize meant he'd inadvertently made a reference to something from her world. Or he'd misunderstood something in an amusing way, it was the same bloody smile, but the first made more sense in this case.

He prayed she'd turn back, or at least speak, but all she did was offer him a full smile before slipping back between the trees.

Once Emma knew she was out of his sight, she rested a shaking hand against a tree, pausing to breath deeply. Even through the panic she could feel the feelings beneath it growing, and it scared the hell out of her. She'd only felt this way twice before in her life. The first time she'd been betrayed, and the second time the man had died. Even with the taste of rum still on her lips and the scents of leather and salt and somehow just man still foremost in her mind, even with the heat still swirling through her, she was terrified of risking this again. She didn't know if she could put herself back together again if someone broke her. She didn't know if she could risk giving that power to anyone outside her family. And if she had any hope of finding Henry she couldn't think about this now. But Hook was getting harder and harder to keep out of her mind, and it was no longer just because he annoyed her.

Emma's fingers rose to her lips, and for an instant the memory of his kiss sent another swirl of heat through her that shimmered over all the panic. Then she did her best to shove it all back into the bottle, bringing the image of her son to the forefront of her mind. Nothing could matter right now but Henry. But the image flickered as she stepped into the camp, and she saw again the look on Hook's face the other night when he'd said that once they saved Henry it was up to her what happened between them. No matter what she'd said or done to him, he'd always come back. He was still here, and she was starting to believe the only way he was leaving was if she sent him away. And she didn't want to.

Then the others noticed she was back, and Regina was telling her what they should do next, and Emma switched the image in her mind back to Henry. After that, well, she remembered her thought the other night on how she couldn't imagine her life anymore without Hook in it.

OoOoOoOoO

Hook took a deep breath as his fingers rose almost unconsciously to his lips, eyes closing as he remembered how soft her lips had been, and her sweetness for the brief second she'd opened to him. Even through the shock that she had kissed him, he felt the heat swirling up through his chest as he took another deep breath. For the first time since he'd lost Milah, he felt a surge of light go through his heart. He realized he hadn't just set his revenge on the back-burner, he'd tossed it away. And if he had a choice between picking it up again and being with Emma, he knew in a heartbeat what his decision would be.

He wasn't just fascinated by and attracted to the lass, he was in love with her. Now what the bloody hell was he supposed to do with that?

"You really should've taken my deal."

Hook's face closed down as to turned to face Pan, and it took little effort to bring the expected smirk to his face. "It doesn't look like I need your help with Emma after all, mate." He made sure his voice was taunting, drawing and raising his flask in a sarcastic toast.

"What, you think that kiss actually meant something?" Pan scoffed, winding his way closer and causing Hook to tense unconsciously.

Yet he forced himself to relax at once, smirking at the demon child with a confidence much stronger than he felt. It was the look that had gained him his reputation, the one that said he would win no matter what, and with the taste of Emma still on his lips it was easy for Hook to say, "I do. I think it means she's finally starting to see me for the man I am."

"What?" Pan practically snarled, "A one-handed pirate with a drinking problem? I'm no grown-up, but I'm pretty sure that's less than appealing."

"A man of honor." He again raised the flask in mocking salute, making a point to take a deep drink before putting it away. And had a flash of the compassion in Emma's eyes when she'd shared a drink with him, at the understanding that sometimes it was only the way to quiet the voices and doubts.

"So tell me... What would a man of honor like yourself do with a big, fat secret?"

Hook felt the growing horror within him as Pan revealed the secret, and he realized what the demon was doing. This was the cost of not making a deal with Pan, of not killing David and trying to run away with Emma. Never mind that she would have despised him if he'd done it, Pan hadn't gotten what he wanted and this was the price. Betray them all, but most of all her, as the man Pan had known for decades upon decades would do, or reunite Emma with her first love and lose any chance of ever being with her.

"Let's see what kind of man you really are."

Hook stood for a long moment after the boy had vanished, the words echoing and mixing with his own fathers before he could stop them. He locked it away again, noticing how much harder it was to seal up this time, and took another deep breath as, before he could force it down, another memory of his fathers stories of the stars floated into his mind. He hadn't thought of them in years, but between telling them to Emma and remembering teaching Bae they were stronger than ever in his head, and the tale now floating through his mind was one of the most romantic.

It was actually of two constellations, one of which chased the other across the sky. It couldn't be seen in Neverland, but was one of the first he'd learned back in the Enchanted Forest. Through all the constellations that came and went between them, the chase continued until the summer solstice, when just before they vanished for months, the hero caught the princess. And then the next spring the chase began again, for the hero knew that the only way to be with her was to let her be free and happy. It was a story he'd loved as a child and mocked for the last centuries, yet now the thought of it could only bring a sardonic grin.

He remembered his thoughts when Pan had first offered to let him leave with Emma, foremost the thought that she would never forgive him nor willingly abandon her family. Pan hadn't understood how little he would be tempted by that deal, and how his understanding of Emma had meant he knew it wouldn't end with her in his arms and happily ever after. She loved Henry more than anything, and he was part of her happiness, part of her light, and he could never take that away from her.

And he couldn't keep the knowledge of Neal from her either, he knew after less than a minute of thought. There was a chance Pan was lying, simply tossing the match where he knew it could cause the most destruction, but Hook had played enough of the boy's games to know that as impossible as it seemed it was most likely true.

She would hate him if she found out he had kept the possibility from her, but that wasn't even the thought foremost in his mind as he moved back towards the camp, trying to figure out how he would tell her. The thought foremost in his mind was of the smile he got to see all too rarely, and how her happiness was more important than anything. Even if she didn't find it with him. She didn't deserve the pain, while he most certainly did. He carried part of the blame for breaking up Bae's family in the first place, and he wouldn't do it again.

Trying to console his aching heart with the thought of her smile, even as he railed at the unfairness of her opening up to him and Pan snatching it away even as he realized he loved her, Captain Hook let all emotions fade from his face as he walked back into camp.

"Swan, I need a word."

TBC...

* * *

AN2: Yeah, I generally don't do scenes from the show, but what CS author can resist a chance to do the first kiss? It was fun to try to figure out what they'd be feeling, without changing anything, and still keep it within the framework of my fanfic. And the Pan part just flowed with it. Hope it was enjoyed! More changes to canon ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: Thanks as always for the reviews and favorites, it's always good to know that people are enjoying the story. And now it's time to change some canon, because as they grow closer, well, I imagine some things would happen differently. As before, if scenes are skipped over, assume they happened the way they did on the show. And much like the first kiss, of course I couldn't resist doing the "when I win your heart" scene, although this time I did rewrite it.. Enjoy!

* * *

Stars

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

 _"You weren't just a star to me. You were my whole damn sky."_

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Chapter 5:

"Swan, I need a word."

Emma eyed him warily as Hook came out of the jungle, he'd been gone nearly ten minutes instead of the five she asked for, but while there wasn't any teasing in his voice her spine stiffened as he nodded his head off to the side. She so didn't want to talk about what had just happened.

"So, have one. Have a sentence even." Emma shot back as she crossed her arms, making it clear that she wasn't moving. She felt a twinge of regret at the flash of hurt in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly she tried to tell herself she had imagined it.

His face was blank as he took a few steps closer to her, lowering his voice as he said, "Pan paid me a visit while I was gathering firewood."

He hadn't lowered his voice enough however, and the other three in the small clearing leapt to their feet.

"What did he want?" David asked, barely managing to keep from adding 'this time.' His eyes heated when Hook ignored him, again gesturing for Emma to move off to the side with him. The last time Pan had appeared to Hook, he'd wanted David dead, and while David didn't really believe that the pirate would hurt Emma physically, he felt a surge of adrenaline go through him at Hook trying to get her alone.

"Emma, please." He kept his eyes locked on hers, whispering now, his rare use of her first name showing his seriousness. He saw her eyes soften slightly at whatever she saw on his face, and said even more softly. "Seven steps."

Emma took a deep breath as her mind flashed back a few nights, to their first midnight chat and the way he'd asked for her trust. Just for seven steps. A warmth spread through her belly as she remembered his gentleness and comfort that night and in the ones that followed, and she knew for certain that this wasn't an excuse to get her alone again, this wasn't him pushing her to talk when she couldn't yet, this was something else. And she felt a cold sense of dread spread through her when she realized why he wanted to tell her alone.

This wasn't about keeping things from the others, they were beyond that at this point, but he knew how she hated showing weakness in front of anyone, and wanted to give her a chance to react privately. Which meant that whatever it was, it was bad. An image of her son flashed into her mind a second before the panic set in. "Henry..." She breathed, terrified.

"No, love, no." Hook forgot about everyone behind him at the horror on her face, stepping closer to her without thought and gripping her arm tightly, his eyes again locking with hers to let her see the truth of his words as he answered loud enough for everyone to hear, "It's nothing bad about Henry, I swear it, he barely even mentioned him. It's... something else."

"Just spit it out, pirate!" Regina huffed, taking a step towards them and glaring at Emma when she gestured for her to stop.

"Give us a minute." Her eyes flicked to her parents, and whatever Snow saw in them had her nodding and drawing David back down to sit on the ground despite his protests. Regina just returned her stare, but she made no move to follow when Emma tugged her arm out of Hook's grasp, not that he tried to hold her, in fact he seemed slightly startled that he was, and moved a little bit out into the trees.

"Sit down, love."

"Why do people always say that before delivering bad news?" Emma crossed her arms again, her heartbeat and breathing rapid as she waited. "Just tell me."

He took a deep breath, wanting to reach out to her again but knowing she'd take it wrong. "It might be a lie, but knowing Pan I doubt it. He told me that Neal was alive, and here in Neverland."

The panic shifted, and without conscious thought she whispered the word no. All the emotions she'd been doing her best to bottle came rushing to the forefront of her mind, and she barely registered it when he gripped her forearm and gently sat her down on a nearby log. But when he moved to release her she shifted her arm until she was holding his in return. "Why would he tell you?" She whispered.

"You know why." He said softly.

"He was watching us." Emma breathed, a surge of anger suddenly tangled up in all the other conflicting emotions when he nodded. "He wanted you to have to be the one to tell me."

He nodded again, whispering, "He also likely assumed I would be tempted to not do so."

"Were you?"

"No, love." Hook replied at once. "And not only because you'd never forgive me."

He was right, and of course that thought had flitted through her mind, but she could read the honesty in his eyes that it was more. What that more was she couldn't read, or maybe just didn't want to admit because then she'd have to deal with it.

Emma's eyes slid closed for a few seconds as she took a deep breath, shoving all of the swirling emotions and fears down as best she could. It was getting harder every day. "You believe him."

"There's a chance it's a trick, but knowing Pan I'd hazard that it's true, and a trap. He said that he was taken from this very camp while we were gone, so if it's a trap we'll likely find a trail to follow." His voice was all business, accepting her walls going back up as he always did. He was confused that she didn't seem more excited, but reasoned that she didn't want to get her hopes up in case it wasn't true.

"Go back, tell the others, see what you and Mary Margaret can find. I just, I..."

"We'll give you a minute, lass." He hid his own pain at the thought of her being reunited with her first love, and squeezed her arm gently before releasing her. She let him go this time, though he almost wished she wouldn't, but he'd only taken two steps when her voice came softly.

"Thank you."

"There's nothing I'll not do for you, Emma." The words came before he could stop them, while it was certainly true he hadn't planned on putting his heart on his sleeve to quite that extent, especially given what he'd just told her. He resisted the urge to turn, unsure what look would be on her face and thinking of several possibilities he didn't think he could deal with seeing after what he'd just said. He moved back to the others without turning back.

 _He told me that Neal was alive, and here in Neverland._

 _There's nothing I'll not do for you._

The two thoughts fought for dominance in her mind as she heard voices arguing back in the camp, and wondered if Hook had realized she was thanking him not only for telling her, but for pushing through her resistance and giving her privacy to deal with it. He never pushed her, not when it was about them, but he knew and read her well enough to know when it really was better for her if he pushed when it came to other things. He saw through some of her walls like they weren't there, and others his obvious concern and kindness caused her to lower, just slightly, on her own. It had been a long time since anyone understood her that well, knew how to read her moods like he did, and it was slowly becoming more thrilling than it was terrifying.

Or it had been, until she thought of the reason for those walls. Oh, she'd had them before Neal, but his betrayal had doubled their thickness and height, had been the straw that broke her. The first time she'd loved in that way, her first romantic relationship, and he'd abandoned her just like everyone else. And while Hook had proven himself so far, she'd had no indication Neal would leave before he did either. He'd promised her a future and she had believed him. And it hurt more to have that love and hope ripped away than it did to live without it. At least that's what she had come to believe until...

 _Those walls of yours, they may keep out pain but they also keep out love._

Unbidden, words that Mary Margaret had said to her what seemed like a lifetime ago clamored for attention in her head. She had known that, of course she did, that was part of the point. Because love only brought pain.

Well, romantic love, she hesitated, thinking of Henry. He'd gotten into her heart so fast, and there was nothing that she wouldn't... and dammit, she'd never be able to think or say those words now without thinking of them being delivered in his melodious accent and slightly archaic way of speaking. In a voice that was so soft and sincere she had believed it for a long moment before the doubts swirled back in. Belief still fought against doubt, and then Henry's face came back and she used it to shove everything back down. It was still getting harder each time to do that, but for now she focused back on Henry.

If Pan was setting a trap, they'd go spring it and see what happened. If it was a trick, she'd just be that much more pissed at Pan and determined to get her son back. She'd keep the feelings locked away until she had Henry. She was tired of Pan's games.

 _OoOoOoO A while later OoOoOoO_

"What was that about?" Emma asked as Neal stormed off into the jungle, cutlass angrily hacking through the dense vegetation. As best the men could figure, they were nearly to the Dark Hollow, but something had changed between them since they started off on this trek for Pan's shadow.

Hook sighed deeply, his fingers coming up to scratch at the side of his neck as his eyes dropped, something she'd begun to realize he did when he was nervous or embarrassed. "I assumed he had heard my secret. And I also assumed that you'd told him of our shared moment."

"Why would you assume that?" She couldn't keep the anger from her voice, but did keep it low.

"Because I was hoping it meant something." He didn't answer her with anger, but with a sincerity that took all the wind from her sails.

"It..." She almost said it did before she could catch herself, pressing her lips together and closing her eyes as she took a deep breath when she heard his breath catch. She kept her eyes closed, concentrating with all her might on Henry's face. "Nothing matters except Henry. I can't let it. And I hate playing all these games."

"But each game has gotten us one step closer, love." Hook answered. "You asked before if I considered not telling you, but you didn't push for my other reasons. I promised you we'd save your lad, and I knew we needed Ba... Neal to do that. And I've no doubt the demon would have left him to die in that cage had we not rescued him."

"There's more." She'd been too shocked to think about it before, and she could tell there was another reason yet. But even beyond that, she knew Pan hadn't just given him the information, he would have offered him some kind of deal. That was how the games worked.

"The last time Pan spoke to me, when I was helping your father..."

"We are so talking about that later."

The hardness is back in her voice again, but he offers her a ghost of a smile. "Wasn't my secret to tell, love. But regardless, Pan offered me a deal. Kill your father, not just allow him to die but kill him, and Pan would allow me to leave the island. When I said no, he sweetened the deal, to his way of thinking, by saying I could take you with me, as if you'd ever feel anything for me but hate if I did that. And he'd be sure you found out. But beyond that, he doesn't understand you'd never leave your lad. And he'll never understand that I wouldn't either. So the bloody bastard has to test me again, this time by seeing if I'd leave an old friend to die... even if the old friend happens to be vying for the same woman that I am."

"And you chose your friend." Emma said softly.

"And your trust." Hook stressed. "But yes, my friend. I believe in good form, and as I once told you, I'm a gentleman. So when I win your heart, Emma... and I will win it... it will not be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me."

Emma felt the heat flooding through her at the mix of sincerity and desire in his eyes. Not wanting him wasn't really the problem, he was one of the most attractive and charismatic men she'd ever known, but it was so much more complicated than that. And she just couldn't see herself as the prize two men were fighting over, not only because that had never been her, but the idea of being a prize just pissed her off. Her voice was a harsh whisper as she insisted, "This is not a contest, Hook."

"Isn't it?" His voice was raw yet determined, but when he saw the anger building on her face he realized immediately where he had mis-stepped. "I don't mean that you're a prize to be won, lass, not the way you're thinking of it. When two men set their course towards the same woman they're not actually fighting each other, as if the winner will claim her without her having a say in the matter. They're questing _against_ each other to prove themselves the better match, to be the one she chooses. And neither one of us is going to give up, Emma, you realize that, don't you? You're going to have to choose."

"The only thing I have to choose is the best way to get my son back." While mollified by his response, and actually fairly impressed by it, what she was saying was true. He'd ripped the lock off of her emotions with his confession back in the cave, because hinting at it was one thing but hearing the words flat out made it somehow more real, made it impossible to hide away. Not that she'd been able to, she'd had to leave _herself_ unlocked in order to unlock the damn cage, saying things to Neal that she'd never thought she'd get to say. But she didn't know if having said them made things better or worse, especially given what her secret had been.

Looking into Hook's eyes now from inches away, and remembering a similar look in Neal's when he'd said he would never stop fighting for her, Emma felt the butterflies in her stomach. His promise to win her heart was still echoing through her, and she begged him with her eyes not to push, not to make her do this now when so much was at stake.

The intensity in his eyes faded, mostly, and he offered her a real smile, the one she only ever saw when it was just the two of them. "You'll get him back, love."

"You think so?"

It was familiar between them now, not the precise words but the feeling behind them, the need for the reassurance that for some reason only he could give. That she trusted him in this way, that she would let him see her vulnerabilities and that he could comfort her, was one of the things he treasured most. "I have yet to see you fail. And when you do succeed... well, that's when the fun begins."

"Guys, I think I found it!"

Neal's voice broke through the now charged moment, and Emma quickened her pace, her insides still rolling at the heat that had been on his face as he whispered those last words.

Hook took a deep breath before moving to follow her, his heart lightened when she slowed slightly for a moment, tossing him a surprisingly shy smile over her shoulder just as the darkness of the Hollow settled around them.

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement in intended.

AN: We're still in "Dark Hollow," only now Pan's shadow is trapped in a coconut and it's time for another quiet moment. Emma's opening up a bit faster than even I expected, but that's just how the characters in my head are going. Expect more rewritten scenes from this point on, rather than them just being skipped over. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and encouragement, I'm glad that this is being enjoyed.

* * *

Stars

by Lady Callista

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

 _"The darkest nights produce the brightest stars."_

 _OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Chapter 6:

"We need to stop and rest for a few hours." Emma declared as Neal tripped over his own feet for the third time in less than an hour, catching himself on a tree even as his other hand kept the coconut curled carefully against his stomach.

"I'm fine, just..."

"You're not fine." Emma huffed, turning to include Hook in her glare when she heard him chuckle. "Neither of you are." She'd only heard the pirate trip once, but she'd glanced back at him a few other times and seen the glazed over look in his eyes, the look that said he was only still awake because he was forcing himself to be, and Neal looked even worse.

"Now that we've a way off the island..."

"You're both dead on your feet, probably from almost having your shadows ripped from your bodies." Emma snapped. She hadn't noticed it at all in the beginning, too busy silently raging at the way they'd fought over her like children, but as the hours long trek slowly progressed, she'd noticed both men dragging as if they hadn't slept in days.

While everything in her rebelled at the thought of a delay, of waiting even a few more hours to get to Henry, she knew that both men were basically useless at this point, and she would need both of them to get her son back.

They both tried to argue further, and in the end Emma simply sat down and glared up at them with a snapped, "I'll stand watch. The sooner you both stop arguing the sooner we'll be moving again."

To her surprise it was Hook who gave in first, sinking to the ground with a murmured, "As you wish."

Neal's eyes snapped from the other man to her at the words, and she saw the tick in his jaw when he noticed the blush staining her cheeks. But he sat without further objection. Moments later both men were sound asleep, and Emma was positive that their exhaustion came from what had happened back in the Hollow, or there was no way it would have been that easy to convince them to stop.

She plotted as she sat, working out as many details as she could on getting Henry back even as she listened carefully for any sign of other people. She worked hard to focus on the plan she was forming, needing to keep the focus on that to stop her thoughts from drifting to the two men curled up on the forest floor.

Hook shifted in his sleep them, murmuring something as he turned to his back, and Emma couldn't stop her gaze from wandering over him, remembering the absolute terror that had flowed through her when she'd seen him in the shadow's grasp. Regina's voice echoed through her head then, telling her that her magic was connected to her emotions, and Emma tried really hard to not think about what that meant. She'd thought of Neal as well, of course she had, but it had been Hook's pained voice telling her to flee and save herself that had sparked her magic, because she couldn't do this without him. She _had_ to light the damn candle, and the magic had bubbled up as easily as if she had been learning since birth.

His face was softer in sleep, the centuries of pain and loneliness hidden behind the same lids that hide the most expressive eyes she had ever known. She hated the cliche that the eyes were the window to the soul, but dammit if it wasn't true in his case. Her eyes were tracing his lips, remembering their softness and the surprising sweetness under the passion, when he shifted again, seeming more restless this time.

When he began to mumble again she moved closer, her intent to wake him from what seemed to be a nightmare, when she caught the fact that what he was murmuring was her name. She froze with her hand halfway to his shoulder, a brief flash of heat going through her as she wondered if it was a nightmare she'd be waking him from, or something else. The thought that he might be dreaming about her in a different way, a way she'd never admit she herself had dreamed about more than once, was surprisingly thrilling. His arm twitched then, hook coming closer than she was comfortable with to her leg, and she reached out to wake him the instant his eyes snapped open, the name that fell from his lips as he woke not her own, but one she'd heard him speak only once. A name she knew was inked into his forearm.

Hook woke with a growl, images of Emma dying in his arms as Milah had following him from his dreams, and he lunged at the crocodile above him, rolling to pin the body underneath his as his hook rose to the neck of... of Emma... who despite their position raised both her hands to cup his cheeks, her eyes meeting his steadily. He could see her lips moving, and with what seemed a rush of sound he heard her voice as well, repeating softly that it was just a dream.

His eyes widened in horror at the tiny trickle of blood on the side of her neck, and he jerked his left arm back, shakily rolling off of her and bringing his hand up to rub at his face. Shame flooded through him, and he couldn't bring himself to look at her as he whispered his apologies for hurting her.

"I'm fine." Emma whispered back, her eyes flicking over to Neal who seemed to have slept through the slight disturbance. She shifted closer to him, hand resting lightly on his shoulder. "Hook, I'm okay." She reached out after only a slight hesitation, her other hand carefully grasping the curve of his hook. "It was just a dream."

"A dream mixed with a memory." His voice was still rough with sleep, and he spoke without thinking, his eyes sliding shut again as he heard her soft gasp. He could feel the warmth of her hand on his shoulder, and his memories flashed back to the last time he'd had someone try to comfort him after a nightmare. Milah's face swam back into his memory, the spark gone from her eyes, and with a gasp of his own he opened his eyes again, forcing himself to meet her soft gaze. She was here, she wasn't dead. And he knew he'd die before he let anything happen to her.

"You were saying my name." Emma breathed, the hand on his shoulder sliding lightly down his arm, her fingers gliding back and forth over his forearm. "And then you said hers."

He stiffened, and Emma drew back quickly, mumbling that he should sleep more. She had just started to rise when he gripped her hand, and she could hear the vulnerability in his voice as he asked softly, "I know you've lost people you cared for, love, but has anyone literally died in your arms?"

Her gaze went automatically to the bootlace still wrapped around her wrist, and she fingered it as she nodded her head briefly.

"Did you love him?"

There was an odd note in his voice, but no jealousy, and it stopped Emma from snapping that it was none of his business, stopped her from pushing him away or freezing him out. Instead she met his gentle gaze, and the understanding in his cobalt eyes caused her to settle back down on the ground next to him and answer, "I was starting to."

"You guessed back when we first met that the crocodile took Milah from me, but there's more to the story than that." He looked over at Neal, not really surprised that the other man was sleeping through their conversation, given the bone-deep exhaustion that he could still feel trying to tug him back down. But he was much more willing to deal with the exhaustion than the nightmares that would come if he slept again.

"When I told you the other day that I was partially responsible for Bae being stuck here, I didn't just mean that because I fished him out of the sea when the shadow first dropped him here. Pan thought he was the boy he was looking for, and threatened to kill my crew off one by one if I didn't hand him over." Hook whispered, pushing himself up to lean against a tree, stiffening in shock before relaxing as she leaned into him the smallest bit, the warmth of her pressed against his side from shoulder to hip. "I wasn't going to, I planned on fighting Pan, but..."

"Why?" She couldn't help interrupting gently. "Why would you fight for..."

Neal shifted in his sleep as her voice rose slightly, and Hook's fingers came up to press lightly against her lips. Even though she knew the gesture was to silence her she couldn't help but press the barest suggestion of a kiss into the pads of his fingers. They trembled and withdrew, and she heard his breath catch as she caught his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. When he lifted an eyebrow and tilted his head in the opposite direction, she nodded and rose with him to move a short distance away. Close enough they could still keep watch, but far enough away that their soft voices wouldn't wake him.

But the break had broken his momentum, and Hook tried to remind himself that he was normally very articulate as he tried to find the words to explain to her.

She sensed him struggling and didn't push, giving him the same patience he had always given her as they settled side by side again, their hands still linked. When he finally resumed speaking, his voice was so low she had to lean in to hear him.

"Before I could explain the situation, Baelfire found something among my possessions that turned him against me. He found a portrait of my Milah."

Emma pulled back from him, needing to see his face, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Bae can hear the children crying at night, love, just as we can. I don't know the exact circumstances of how the crocodile abandoned him, the lad only told me that his father chose power over him, and it had resulted in him falling alone into a portal to another world, where the shadow had caught him. But years before that, his mother abandoned him." Hook broke eye contact with her then, staring down at where her fingers intertwined with his as he whispered, "She ran away with a dashing pirate captain."

Her fingers tightened and her breath caught as she realized what he was saying. His Milah, the woman he had loved so deeply he had dedicated centuries to finding a way to avenge her, had been Gold's wife. His first and only love had been Neal's mother. For a moment she tried to wrap her head around Neverland's no ageing perk, and what it really meant that the pirate currently attempting to woo her (his words, and while she had snarked back at him her heart had done a little bit of leaping) had been in love with Neal's mother. She tried to look at it from his perspective, after all he'd known this since she'd told him Henry was Neal's son, and it was no less bizarre. He was persueing a woman who under different circumstances could have been his daughter-in-law.

And that was just too much for her to process, because while it sounded weird in her head, it somehow didn't matter when she was staring down at their joined hands, surprised by how right it felt as she leaned back into his side. It should have mattered, but it was just one more thing in her now crazy life that she couldn't examine too closely. Just like the rest of Henry's family tree. "That's why you say it was your fault. Maybe if she hadn't abandoned them..."

"Aye, Swan." Hook said softly. "And while it's true she asked me to take her, to help her escape as she said, that may not be what I informed her husband." He dropped his eyes from hers again, unable to be less than completely honest with her even through the shame and guilt swimming through him as he remembered what he'd done. "I implied that we were kidnapping her, and that she would be shared among my crew. I offered him a sword, and told him to fight for her, as if a cowardly cripple would have any chance against me in a fight."

Emma's eyes snapped back to his face, but his tone was matter-of-fact rather than bragging, and she couldn't really say she disagreed with how that fight would have gone. "And then he became the Dark One."

Hook nodded, still not looking up at her. "He confronted us one day, and the short story is that we had a magic bean he wanted, but he also wanted revenge on her for leaving. On me for taking her. He crushed her heart, leaving her to die in my arms, but left me alive to know the pain of living without her. He took my hand because he thought it contained the bean, but I'd hidden it elsewhere. And I used that bean to go to Neverland, in order to live long enough to find a way to kill him."

"You said she asked you to take her away, but you can't have known each other long." Emma questioned softly, hearing the shame in his voice. She understood now exactly what he had meant when he said he was part of the reason Neal had gotten stuck in Neverland, for if his mother hadn't run off things could have been vastly different. But that just didn't add up for her.

"A few months, we came into port about once a week at that point, and she'd always meet me at the tavern. I didn't know when I first met her that she was married, and I backed off once I found out. But she came back to me, and well, at that point I can't say I much cared if she was married. If she was unhappy enough to pursue another, well, then..."

"If she was that unhappy, she would have found someone else if you had turned her down."

"Well, that's a sure way to bruise a man's ego, Swan." His voice was light again, the depth of emotion from his story gone, but when she met his eyes she could see the mask that had dropped into place. Although he didn't say that he disagreed with her.

"I think your ego is big enough to take it." His eyebrows rose at her flat statement, and her eyes flashed a warning that stopped him from speaking whatever innuendo she could see floating through his mind. But she could see the hurt hiding behind the mask he had donned, and offered softly, "I'm not saying she didn't fall in love with you later, I don't doubt what you had with her, Hook, all I'm saying is that love takes time. You have to open up to someone, trust them, and there's no way a few months is enough for that."

"Tale is your parents fell in love in a day." He responded immediately, and she caught an oddly wistful look in his eyes as he whispered the next, his cadence changed just enough that she suspected he was quoting something. "The truest magic of first love is our ignorance that it can end."

Emma's eyes flicked automatically to Neal, and how her heart had broken when he'd left her. She knew what Hook was saying though, it was easier to fall in love when your only experience with it wasn't betrayal and abandonment. "And once you know how much it hurts..."

"You have to be brave enough to risk it again." Hook husked. "Life is full of both good and bad things, love, and you can't let the fear of loss keep you isolated. You can't let the bad make you forget the good. You're the one that told me everyone deserves a second chance, that told me to be part of something rather than be safely alone. I wish you could take that advice yourself."

"I love Henry." She said at once.

His smile was soft, and she could see in his eyes that he knew she was deliberately avoiding his point. "You know that's not my meaning, but you asked me not to speak of it until we found Henry, so I'll apologize. There's just something about you, love, that makes me feel I can speak to you of anything. That makes me want to. And it's been, well, it's been a very long time since I had that."

"Hook, we barely know each other."

He smiled softly at that, the first real smile she had seen since he woke. "I may not know your favorite flower or color, or what you like to do when you have a moment of leisure, but I know you, Emma. And I know I'm as much an open book as I once called you. At least I'm trying to be."

Emma could only stare at him as his fingers reached out hesitantly, skimming over her cheek before tucking some hair behind her ear. He was looking at her once again with that mix of admiration and dedication that made her heart lurch, and she knew she would lose the point if she tried to argue it with him. Because despite the number of times she'd pushed him away, he'd always come back, always supported her and encouraged her when it mattered. He'd opened himself up to her fearlessly, somehow finding all the ways to bring her walls down a brick at a time. And she was starting to be more excited than scared by how deeply and easily they understood each other.

She smiled at him softly as his fingers trailed down her hair, gasping lightly when his knuckles brushed lightly over the top of her breast as his fingers toyed with a curl. He leaned in when she didn't pull away from him, brushing a feather light kiss against her cheek. "We'll find your lad, and then we'll talk more. You know my wishes, love, but you also know I'll abide by whatever you choose. I only want you happy."

A jolt of heat went through her at the sweet sincerity in his voice, and she whispered his name as he pulled back, and he hesitated just long enough for her to turn her head, brushing her lips across his lightly, a whisper of a touch that was gone before he could even react. "I'm glad I don't have to do this alone."

Hook took a deep breath as she breathed the words across his lips, his mind flashing back to the other day when he'd told her of Liam, and how he didn't know how he'd had survived without him, how much he was in awe of her for getting through everything life had thrown at her on her own. "As am I." He couldn't help but chase her lips when she pulled back from him, wanting more than the brief taste she'd just teased him with.

"Hook." Emma said his name in warning as he leaned into her, but was unable to stop her breath from hitching when his hand came up to skim over her cheek again, which still burned from his kiss.

"I dreamed of your death, and I just, I just need... I'm sorry, love, I..."

His eyes skidded away nervously, and Emma took a deep breath before reaching out, capturing his hand as he started to withdraw it and bringing it back to her cheek. She had read the pain in his eyes before he turned away, and instinctively offered him the same comfort he had shown her over the past week.

His eyes snapped back to hers, the pain bleeding to something hotter, and his eyes flicked down to her lips again as he whispered, "I'll be patient, love, I ask only this one boon."

She half smiled at that, because even after all the time she'd spent with him it still sometimes took her a moment to figure out what he was saying. But the smile bloomed fully as his eyes twinkled at her, and she realized what he was asking for. She leaned her cheek into his touch for a long second before sliding her body closer to his, her fingers sliding to the back of his neck to kiss him softly. The kiss was the near opposite of their first, but no less earth-shattering for the tenderness of it.

She couldn't speak the words, but she tried to convey them with her kiss, deepening it briefly as she felt his hand glide lightly down her side, avoiding her breast carefully but coming to rest on her hip, his thumb teasing the bare slice of skin where her shirt had ridden up. She played her fingernails over the back of his neck, deepening the kiss further as she felt him tremble for her, his hand tightening briefly on her hip before he gentled his lips, the kiss sliding back to the sweet promise it had started with.

Emma skimmed her fingers lightly down the side of his face as she pulled back, seeing the exhaustion behind the tenderness in his eyes, and said softly, "You should try to sleep a little more." She gave him a look when he seemed about to protest, saying softly, "I've gotten better at keeping track of time by the sun, like you showed me. We've got about an hour yet before we have to head out in order to be to Tinkerbell's before sunset."

He sighed, but knew better by this point than to argue with her, especially as he knew she was right. He wasn't any good to her or Henry when he could barely keep his eyes open. He shifted on the ground, preparing to stand, but she caught his hand and used her other to pat her lap, her eyes shy but sincere. "It helps with the nightmares, not being alone. At least it did the few times I..."

She trailed off with a shrug, trying to downplay the hugeness of the step they'd just taken, but he saw the nervousness behind the flickering wall and knew what she was doing. Rejection was so much easier to take if you acted like it didn't matter. Although he'd completely failed at showing her his feelings if she ever thought he would reject her. Or she had been hurt more deeply and more often than even he had realized.

"It does help." He whispered, not giving her time to second guess her decision. He slid down onto his side beside her, resting his head on her thigh and sighing when her fingers came up to play with his hair. "Tell me a story, Swan." Her finger froze, and he sighed as he soothed, "I'm not asking for painful secrets, love, just the lovely sound of your voice to carry me into dreams."

She blushed, she couldn't help it, but after a moment her fingers began to trail soothingly through his hair again as she tried to think what to talk about. She'd never really had anyone to tell her stories, didn't know any the way a mother should. Then she thought of the stories he'd been telling her of the stars, and tried to remember the few that she knew. As always, one stood out.

"Do you know a constellation named Cygnus?" When he responded that he didn't, Emma went on softly, "It means the swan, and it was one of the only ones I could always find." She couldn't remember the names, it had been too long, but she continued stroking his hair as she told the story of the prideful demi-god who'd been unable to control the sun, and been shot out of the sky, his bones scattered up and down a river. She felt his body relaxing as she continued the story, telling of a brother's grief as he gathered the bones for burial, and the respect of the other gods for the act. They'd made him into a swan when he died, placing him in the sky. She was silent for a moment as she finished, thinking back on the story. She hadn't thought of it in years, and wondered now why they had turned him into a swan of all things.

"Because swans are a symbol of love."

She jerked slightly, she hadn't realized that she'd asked the question out loud, nor that he was still awake to answer it. "They are?"

"Aye, and also all that is light and good." His voice was slightly slurred with sleep, and he murmured that was why he called her _Swan_ as he slipped away.

Her heart skipped a beat at his soft words, and she knew deep in her heart that she'd already made her choice.

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement is intended.

AN: Thanks as always for the reviews and favs, it's great to know when your writing is being appreciated. Time to bring Neal into it, and finally get a bit of resolution. I will be writing them like the mature adults they are. And the M rating doesn't quite kick in yet, but we're getting close folks. More adorable cuteness ahead.

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Stars

by Lady Callista

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 _"Doubt that that stars are fire..."_

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Chapter 7

 _"Hook, we have to head out soon." Emma leaned down to whisper in his ear, unable to help grinning softly when his nose twitched as her hair fell over his face. He still slept peacefully on her thigh, and she hoped to wake him and put some distance between them before waking Neal. He'd done the same a few nights ago when she used him as a pillow, somehow waking and distancing them from each other as the watches changed, only to settle back at her side once they were relatively alone. It was the only night she'd slept for more than a few hours, and part of her longed to repeat it, to again feel the comfort she'd felt in his arms, while the other part of her was terrified by it._

 _He came to consciousness with a soft sigh, eyes sliding halfway open as his fingers came up to caress her cheek, stroking softly before sliding down to her chin. His thumb brushed over the dimple there, and Emma could see the pure devotion in the stormy depths of his eyes before they slid shut and his head tilted up, lips sliding softly over hers. Emma froze instinctively and she felt his hesitation then, felt him come fully awake even as his head slid back, murmuring apologies in a sleep-roughened voice that made her breath catch._

 _"It's okay," Her voice was barely a whisper, and Emma would have cursed the breathlessness of it if she hadn't seen his eyes darken in response. She leaned in to kiss him softly, just a brush of promise, then pulled back to sit up fully, sighing when he followed her cue as always and rose to sit beside her. Although she couldn't stop herself from shivering when his hand trailed softly down her leg, giving her knee a comforting squeeze before he shifted as if to rise, and she reached out to catch his hand._

 _"Hook, I..."_

 _He glanced over at her, seeing the hesitation on her face, and shifted his hand until their fingers were laced together. "We don't need to speak of this now, love."_

 _His voice still had that sleep roughened edge, his accent slightly more liquid than normal, and Emma drew strength from the openness and sincerity in his eyes for an extended moment before she let the fingers of her free hand trace lightly over his forearm. She'd been thinking about this the whole hour he'd been sleeping in her lap, her fingers playing lightly over his hair as she truly accepted how similar they were. He wasn't opening himself up as a ploy or trick, he'd promised not to trick her and she knew he would never go back on that. She didn't need to examine everything he told her looking for an ulterior motive, or dissect or judge what he had done in the past._

 _She needed to see him for who he was now, a man who for some reason had come back for her when no one ever had._

 _"Thank you for telling me." She'd grown up knowing too many bad boys to believe that underneath they were all good men with hearts of gold, but she knew what it was like to need a second chance, and he'd proven time and again that he deserved one. She knew how it hurt to relive painful memories like that, yet he'd done so without a second thought even though she shared next to nothing with him in return. And most of the time didn't even acknowledge what he was doing for her. "I'm sorry. I was... there were so many thoughts going through my head, but I know you loved her and I'm sorry you lost her."_

 _He felt his heart clench at her soft words, and he brought their entwined hands up to his lips to lay a soft kiss on her knuckles, his eyes sliding up to hers before he let his lips trace ever so lightly over the shoelaces on her wrist. His eyes sparked as he saw the small flower inked into her skin, and he dared to kiss it softly before letting their hands drop to rest in his lap again. One day he hoped she'd tell him the story. "I'm sorry as well, love. I imagine it's worse when you aren't even given a chance, at least I have good memories to balance the bad."_

 _"The first constellation you told me about, the mother, when you said that I..." Emma trailed off with a soft blush, her eyes drifting down to their joined hands, her wrist still tingling where his soft but slightly dry lips had brushed her skin._

 _"That you were an amazing mother, and that I knew you'd find your lad."_

 _"Yeah, uh, that." Emma's cheeks were still hot, and the mix of belief and admiration in his eyes still made her uncomfortable. But now the butterflies were mixed with a heat and a wonder, and a slowly growing hope that maybe, just maybe, she really could trust him to never leave. "There was something in your voice when you said that_ good _mothers put their children first, and I know you caught my curiosity because you told me about your mother, but you meant..."_

 _Emma trailed off when his face blanked briefly, and she immediately regretted the unusual attempt to connect with him, but whatever he saw on her face finally caused him to smile softly. "Aye, love, you've the right of it now. I loved Milah, and she was perfect for me at that point in my life, but I know she had flaws. We were both selfish creatures back then, thinking only of our own happiness and adventure. She spoke of Bae often, of going back for him when he was older, when he'd be okay on the ship, but I often wonder if she ever would have. The longer you're gone, the harder it is to come back, for the greater the fear is that you'll not be welcome. That you'll not be forgiven. But even that aside, mayhaps not all women are meant to be mothers. But you, Swan, you're magnificent at it. It's why Pan's offer the other day didn't tempt me in the slightest, I know you'd never leave your boy. And you wouldn't be the woman I... well, you wouldn't be the amazing lass you are if you would."_

 _Emma flushed harder, knowing what he had almost said but unable to think the words even in her head. "We really need to get moving."_

 _"I know." He accepted her withdrawal gracefully, rising and holding out a hand to help her to her feet. She shook her head slightly, but took the hand and let him pull her up, watching his eyes heat as their bodies bumped lightly before she stepped back. He nodded his head off to the trees, "I'll just be a moment, wake Neal and we'll be off."_

 _Emma nodded, moving over towards Neal, her head suddenly whipping back around as she heard the clang of steal and a pained cry. She had an instant to think that she was dreaming, that this wasn't how it had happened, and then she was off and running, breaking through the trees to find Hook only as he fell to Pan's sword._

 _A strangely familiar bird call suddenly sounded through the wave of pain and despair, and Emma suddenly found herself gasping for breath._

She woke gasping his name, hands fisting in the bedding beneath her as she sat partway up, her eyes confirming that she was back in the camp outside Tinkerbell's house, and that Hook was lying about ten feet away, eyes closed but clearly alive and well. She focused for a moment, finding her parents also asleep around the dying fire. They'd been up planning well into the night once she returned with Hook and Neal, and were now catching a few hours of sleep while the fairy scouted Pan's camp. She'd return at sunrise to finalize plans. She let her eyes continue around the ring, finding Neal lying on his side a few feet away, his eyes open and looking at her with an edge of pain.

"Sorry, uh, that bird call woke me up." She whispered, scrubbing a hand over her eyes.

"I didn't hear it, I woke to you calling his name." Neal's voice was a whisper, and he shifted closer to try to make sure they didn't wake the others.

Emma's eyes slid shut as she saw the mix of resignation and sadness in his eyes, only to have them fly open when he breathed, "It was never a choice, was it?"

"Neal, I..."

"How can you trust him?"

Neal's voice wasn't accusatory or harsh, but sincerely curious, but Emma wasn't sure how to explain without revealing all the time they'd spent talking, something that for some reason she wanted to keep private. Her glance slid over to Hook automatically, remembering the sincerity in his eyes when he'd asked her to trust him, and when he'd said he wouldn't have betrayed her first. The look in his eyes when she admitted they understood each other. Finally she gave Neal the easiest answer. "Because he doesn't lie to me, and because he's the only person who ever came back for me."

"I thought about you, every day." Neal whispered. "Every day I thought about finding you, but every day it got harder because..."

His words reminded her of Hook's hours ago, so when he trailed off Emma couldn't help but finish, "Because you don't know if you'll be welcome. If you'll be forgiven."

Neal nodded, but didn't speak.

"It's hard enough for me to trust people who have never betrayed me, or, well..." She thought of Hook again, though he had betrayed her in the cell, she'd done so to him first. Yet despite his biting words and the obvious hurt in his tone, he'd still saved Aurora's heart in the end, and either she'd gotten extremely lucky or he'd allowed her to beat him in that sword fight as well. Because she had no illusions as to how her sword skills matched up to a centuries old pirate. "That's hard enough for me, and Henry and my...my parents are really the first people I've had that with since you. It, it took me that long to..."

"Em, I..."

"I know you're sorry, Neal, and I know why you thought you had to do it." Emma cut him off, still whispering but with a slightly sharper tone in her voice that quickly softened again. "I'm not saying it to make you feel worse, I just need you to understand. It took a decade for me to trust again, and it was family, but then Hook he, he's earned that trust every step of the way. I...I told you that I'd probably always love you, and I'd never stop you from being Henry's father, but I... I can't trust _us_ again. I'd never be sure, and it hurt so much that first time that I just can't..."

Neal's eyes softened as she trailed off, and he caught just the slightest sheen of tears in her eyes. "Do you regret it?"

Emma widened her eyes, refusing to allow the tears to fall. She had sworn when she left prison that she would never shed another one for him, and while she'd broken that when she thought he was dead this was different. Still, she had to answer honestly. "I can't, not when it gave us Henry. And maybe one day I'll remember the good moments before the bad. Cause there were good moments, Neal."

"Yeah, there really were." He smiled softly, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "If he hurts you he's losing his other hand."

Emma just shook her head, her gaze again shifting from Neal's eyes to her parents, knowing it to be true but amazed she was able to say, "I think you'd have to get in line."

Neal smiled again. "Sleep, Ems, you'll have Henry in your arms before you know it."

Emma nodded as she lay back down, watching him return to his pallet before turning onto her back, smiling when she noticed the constellation of the angel in the sky above her. She remembered Hook telling her how it was a sign of protection and a guide, and for the first time in longer than she could remember she closed her eyes and made a wish on a star. And slowly fell asleep again as she watched them twinkle.

She awoke again an hour later, drenched in sweat from another nightmare and breathing harshly, that same bird call again echoing in her head. She tried to think, to break through the adrenaline from the nightmare and recall how she could have sworn she woke to it the first night in Neverland as well, when he was on watch. And now that she tried to think of it, to recall those brief, foggy moments of waking, she realized it had almost always been to that bird call. At least any time she recalled having a nightmare. Her gaze swung rapidly to Hook, and though he appeared to be sleeping and his breathing was light and even, there was something in his posture that gave him away.

She'd dreamed of him dying again, this time sacrificing himself to save Henry, and that she was fairly certain it was something he would actually do made her rise quietly, sneaking over to where he lay on his back, coat folded up under his head as a makeshift pillow. His right arm was flung out to the side, and before she could overthink things Emma lay down, curling up against his side and pillowing her head on his chest.

He played opossum for a long second, not moving, his breathing remaining even, but Emma didn't give him a chance to play it out, instead she tilted her head up enough to breath into his ear, "I know you're awake."

He shuddered at the husky whisper, giving up all pretense of sleep and curving his arm around her back, fingers slipping gently across her back between her shirt and pants, leaving a trail of goose-flesh and causing her to tremble against him. She feels his chest vibrate more than she hears his warm chuckle, and his hand settles lightly, questioningly, on the bare skin of her waist. When she makes no objection, in fact she manages to snuggle slightly closer, letting out a soft sigh, his hand slides down to her hip, holding her close even as his thumb continues to trail maddening patterns on the sensitive skin of her waist.

She waited for him to make some quip about her being in his arms again; he'd yet to tease her about her _one time thing_ comment, which both amazed her and made her dread he was saving it for the perfect occasion. But she could feel his body relaxing beneath her, he seemed content to hold her in silence, his fingers still sending tendrils of heat out from where they played against her side. Almost without thought her fingers started to play in the V of his shirt, and he let out a soft sigh as he squeezed her hip gently before his fingers slid to her lower back when he began softly massaging the tense muscles.

Emma melted into him, humming her pleasure even as she shifted to give him a better angle, sliding her leg over his and feeling his heart start to race against her cheek as her knee brushed against his core. She could feel his desire for her, yet he still didn't speak, although his fingers did trail further up her spine, under her shirt but still just rubbing gently. The touch was certainly sensual, and just the build up and tension between them made it almost erotic, but Emma could sense no anticipation in him, no tension that indicated he was just waiting to make a move. She felt his lips brush over her forehead as his thumb and fingers dug into parallel knots on either side of her spine, and she let her hand slide up his chest to slip around to the back of his neck, squeezing and releasing gently and smirking slightly as he moaned softly.

"Are you alright, Emma?"

His voice was barely a whisper, and again had that husky quality she associated with the warm feeling of the one time she had woken up in his arms. It made her feel safe, and comfortable, and like maybe she could actually sleep again rather than spend the last hour before sunrise worrying about things she couldn't change, or going over yet again a plan they'd memorized down to the last detail.

He only used her first name when he was at his softest and sweetest, and she angled her head up to drop a soft kiss on the underside of his jaw before tucking herself back under his chin, her fingers still gently soothing his tense neck muscles. She breathed into his chest, "The only night I really slept was the night you held me." She couldn't help but laugh briefly, her voice rising slightly as she whispered, "I just can't believe my life. I'm in Neverland trying to save my son from Peter Pan, and the only thing that chases away my nightmares is cuddling with Captain Hook. I don't even like cuddling. Usually." She hurried to add the last word as she felt him tense sightly, relieved when he relaxed again. Because she usually didn't like cuddling, it felt awkward and too intimate, even when it was after a good time, but he already knew her in far more intimate ways than this.

"I'm usually not one for it either, love, not since..." He trailed off, and she could almost feel him deliberately setting aside old memories before he started over. "I've been alone for longer than you can imagine, love, and just your warmth at my side is more than I ever thought to have again. I told you I'll not push you, not to talk or anything else. Just sleep now, let me chase away the nightmares. The sooner you sleep, the sooner you'll have Henry."

She hummed softly against his chest, his warmth was starting to lull her to sleep again, grateful that for some reason the cries of the lost ones had been absent tonight. As she started to drift off again the memory of the bird call echoed in her mind, and she murmured, "The bird call you're using to wake me, what is it?"

She felt him chuckle again, but he didn't bother to try and deny it, and to her surprise he didn't comment on her catching him at all. He simply dropped another kiss on her forehead as he answered softly, "There's a chain of islands far to the east of the Enchanted Forest, and on them lives a large bird called the karasutengu. The locals believe its cry is a warning of misfortune to come, but rather than blame the bird they praise it for giving them warning. It's seen as a protective omen to have one call out to you, because if you know misfortune is coming you can find a way to avoid it. It was the first thing that popped into my head that first night, and it seemed rather apropos."

His fingers stopped massaging her back, and Emma gasped softly as he traced a soft circle on her lower back, his finger trailing lightly over a few inches before tracing another circle, then angling up to the side to trace another circle. She remembered him drawing the heroes constellation in the dirt and realized this bird must be a constellation as well, and he was gently tracing it into her back. The wave of heat almost eclipsed the wave of tiredness that had gone through her minutes ago, and her fingers tensed on his neck even as she froze for an instant.

He stopped immediately, moving his hand back to rest lightly on the safer territory of her hip. She could feel him withdrawing, could feel the ease and softness of the moment fading, and raised her head to whisper, "This just isn't the time or the place for what I want when you touch me like that."

He flashed her a saucy grin, but his eyes remained gentle even as they darkened sightly, the moonlight just bright enough for her to see them go a stormy yet brilliant cobalt before he slowly leaned into her, those captivating orbs sliding shut as he rested his forehead on hers, brushing their noses together softly, keeping a whisper of space between their lips.

Emma's fingers still played over his neck, and when she realized his hesitation wasn't teasing or building anticipation, but him giving her control, she slid her fingers into his hair even as she let her eyes slid shut and lightly brought their lips together. She felt his hand sliding up her back again, over her shirt this time to tangle in her hair, now that she'd initiated the kiss he showed no hesitation in deepening it and she couldn't help but lose herself in the moment.

He caressed her hair for a moment as he deepened the kiss, mouths opening and tongues sliding together softly, swallowing each others sighs as they learned what the other liked. Long minutes passed as the kiss continued to deepen, her fingers slipping down his shoulder, tracing his collarbone, lingering at the joint between his neck and shoulder when he moaned softly deep in his chest. He shifted beneath her and his lips slid across her cheek, nibbling at her jaw before dropping a heated kiss over her pulse point, and she knew he could feel how her heart was racing.

His lips returned to hers, this time with soft, gentle brushes, cradling the back of her head even as her own hand slid down to scratch at chest hair that was softer than she expected. His hand fisted in her hair, and Emma gasped at the bolt of heat that shot through her even as he released her, breaking the kiss with a gasp. She stopped him one word into his apology with another soft kiss. And when he whispered her name like a prayer it seemed the most natural thing in the world to whisper back, "Killian."

"Gods, love." His voice was deep and rough again, the blue of his eyes a thin burning ring, and she could see him fighting for control. She wondered how long it had been since someone called him by name in a moment like this. "As you said this is neither the time nor the place, but..."

"But the time and place will come." Emma promised, for once not trying to second guess her desire. It had been so long since she had been touched like this, like she was someone's salvation rather than just a bit of comfort in the dark. He kissed her like she was the only thought on his mind, the only thing in the world, and when he kissed her like that she couldn't help but fall under his spell. He'd given her the only moments of peace she had on this island, as well as the belief and courage to find a way through each and every one of Pan's games. She kissed him yet again, softly, knowing that even with three other adults less than twenty feet away they were testing their control.

Killian was the one who drew back after another long moment, his hand still stroking her hair and urging her gently back to rest against his chest. Her heart rate slowly calmed as she listened to his doing the same, and she waited for the rush of panic at the thought of what she'd just promised. When it never came, she simply cuddled closer to him again, his fingers tracing random patterns over her side as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement is intended.

AN: Continuing not long after where we left off, with what I believe is a newish take on a scene that's been done many times. Cause it's usually in the heat of passion, but what if it wasn't? Thanks as always for the reviews, they're appreciated!

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Stars

by Lady Callista

Chapter 8

Hook slipped from her arms shortly before dawn, kissing her gently on the forehead. She twitched and her arm reached out as if looking for him, fingers coming into contact with the makeshift pillow that was his leather coat. He smiled gently, fingers brushing her cheek even as her fingers curled around his coat, and when he withdrew his fingers she sighed softly and seemed to settle back to sleep.

Both amazed and grateful that she obviously took comfort in, well, him, Hook allowed himself to look at her for a long moment, her face so much younger and innocent looking in sleep, before he rose regretfully. There was maybe half an hour before the sun rose, and he would have been perfectly content to simply lay there with her in his arms. But he needed to be at his best today, and that meant taking care of something he didn't want to deal with if the others were around.

Snagging a bucket of water from the porch, he moved off into the jungle surrounding Tinkerbell's clearing.

He found a convenient stump, setting the bucket before him and pulling a rag and his flask from his pocket. He shrugged out of his shirt, jaw locked as he reached over and undid the buckles above and below his elbow that held the brace on his arm. He still couldn't stop the hiss of pain as he pulled the leather down, his eyes tightening in distaste at the blisters and raw skin that came from wearing it for too long, especially in the Neverland humidity and heat. But there had been no way he was removing it where there was a chance any of the others would see, and even at night when he could have hidden it he'd not wanted to risk not having it if they were attacked.

He took a deep drink from his flask, relishing the burn, then braced himself before slowly lowering his throbbing left forearm into the bucket. The cool water soothed the pain somewhat, and he just sat there breathing for a long minute at the relief before he reminded himself that he didn't have much time. He moved his arm around, fingers brushing at it gently to try and clear the accumulation of sweat, dust, and grime without breaking the blisters or touching the open sores.

When it was as clean as he could get it in these circumstances, he took another pull of rum before beginning the painful process of drying it as much as he could. He'd try wrapping the rag around his arm before sliding the brace back on, it was the best he could do when there wasn't time for the inside of the brace to dry out. He hissed again as one of the blisters on his wrist popped under even the bare pressure he was using, and he was so intent on his task that he missed the approach of gentle footfalls.

He jumped and knocked over the bucket when she spoke softly from mere feet behind him.

"Hook." His back was to her, so Emma couldn't see what he was doing, but she could see how tense he was, and could swear she'd heard him gasp in pain as she approached. She froze when her thoughts caught up to her eyes and she realized that he was shirtless.

He didn't turn, didn't even glance down at the bucket of water he'd upset, as he murmured that she should go and he'd be back in a few minutes. Her heart twinged for an instant at the lack of emotion in his voice, but then she caught the fact that he was trembling, ever so slightly. And she saw that there was more than an overturned bucket at the base of the tree stump.

"Killian." She said his name deliberately for the first time, moving until she was close enough to reach out and touch his back lightly. He tensed further, but didn't pull away from her.

"Just go back, love." He voice was softer now, but she could hear both the shame and embarrassment in it.

"I saw in the hospital, remember." Emma soothed just as softly, sliding her hands down to rest on his waist, surprised how easy it was to ignore that he was shirtless when she could hear the pain in his voice.

"Not the same."

She knew what he meant, and it wasn't just that she'd seen only the very end of his wrist while the rest was covered. No, he meant that he was shirtless, and that in a way they were alone. She'd begun to think of him in a way she hadn't back then, at least not that she would admit to herself, and she'd seen beheath the mask of cocky pirate enough to understand that he would be insecure about his missing hand. He wouldn't want anyone, especially her, to see him like this. And she thought of how patient he'd been with her own masks. He'd given her so much, and he needed to understand that she didn't care about the hook.

"All of my scars are on the inside." Emma said softly. "Would it matter to you if they weren't?"

He tensed, slowly turning around to face her even as he kept his blunted arm hidden from her sight, moving it to behind his back. He didn't see any insecurity in her eyes, which amazed him, she wasn't asking because his rebuff had worried her. Even as he marveled at the miracle of that, her hands reached up to stoke across his chest softly. His breath hitched even as he whispered, "Of course not."

"You've never pushed me, and if you really want me to go now I will, but I don't care that you only have one hand. You're just as capable as anyone who has two, and most of the time I don't even think about it." Emma kept her eyes on his as she let her fingers play lightly across his chest, her intent more to sooth than to arouse. "But I imagine some things are harder to do by yourself than others, and you're the one who keeps telling me to trust you. You've shown time and again that you trust me, you can do it again."

"At this moment I hardly trust that you _are_ Emma."

The cliche 'who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan' flicked through her head for a moment, but she could tell that he said it in all seriousness, and she couldn't really blame him after how many times she'd tried to push him away. She wasn't even sure herself why she was reaching out, but knowing he was in pain was hurting her, and rather than that scaring her she just wanted to make it better. Unable to think of how else to convince him, she leaned up to kiss him softly.

Hook froze for an instant as her warm lips met his, unable to help sliding his hand up into her hair, deepening the kiss as her arms slid around his torso. Her warmth against his skin sent fissions of heat through him, which shattered on a jolt of pain as her fingers accidentally brushed against his wounded arm.

He pulled back from her with a grunt of pain, his fingers fisting in her hair briefly before he controlled them and released her with another gasp as his arm twitching away from her caused it to brush the leather of his pants.

Emma's eyes widened in concern as she saw the flash of pain cross his face, and she whispered softly, "It still hurts? After all this time?"

Hook took several deep breaths, locking down the pain before opening his eyes to meet her worried ones, and everything in him softened at the obvious concern and empathy in her eyes. "Not generally." Her eyes urged him to go on, and with more trepidation and fear than he'd felt in a long time, Hook dropped his gaze from hers, looking at the ground even as he brought his ruined arm out from behind his back. He heard her sharp intake of breath, and began mumbling softly about friction and wet leather and bloody sand, unable to look up, afraid of the expression on her face.

Yet he was unable to help himself from glancing up when she reached out, her fingers stopping millimeters from his forearm. Compassion and reflected pain were the dominant emotions in her expressive eyes, which traced the angry red and white skin without a trace of disgust or horror. He gasped as her fingertips began to glow. "What are you doing?"

Emma glanced back from his arm to his face at his astonished whisper, and wasn't sure she could answer him in all certainty. Yet she held his eyes as she reached up with her other hand to stroke his cheek, uncertain but knowing that whatever this was, it wasn't going to be harmful. She felt the light and compassion swirling through her, and remembering what she'd been told about her emotions controlling her magic, she lowered all of her walls for a minute, whispering, "Taking care of you the same way you do of me."

His heart stuttered at the heat and understanding in her eyes, and he didn't even brace for the pain when he fingertips connected with his arm. Somehow he knew there wouldn't be pain.

Emma gasped as the white glow spread out from her fingers, covering his arm and erasing the marks as if they had never been. She heard him sigh with relief, and knew the pain was gone as well. "Let me know if it happens again, okay?" Emma whispered softly, drawing his arm up to kiss his wrist gently.

Her eyes snapped up to his as his breath hitched, and she saw the mix of wonder and vulnerability in his eyes as he whispered her name. She was about to lean in to kiss him, seeing the need in his eyes but knowing that even after their earlier conversation he would never push her, when suddenly she heard her name being called from behind her.

"Emma, honey?"

"What's up?" Emma kept her voice deliberately casual as she turned. She hadn't been doing anything wrong, not even by a mother's standards, yet her first reaction had been panic. She was surprised how easy it was to move past that when saw the tenseness and insecurity in Hook's eyes the moment they realized they weren't alone, and she knew all too well what that was like. For once, she didn't stop to worry about the sudden protective instincts, she just went with them.

Hook cursed himself for getting so distracted that he hadn't heard someone approach even as he recognized the voice as Snow's. To his surprise, Emma didn't jump back from him, but turned to face her mother. He noticed the way she purposely kept her body between Snow and his wrist, blocking her mother's sight, and if he hadn't already been in love with her he would probably have fallen at that single action.

Although to his surprise, and Snow's credit, her expression hadn't changed much when she found them standing together, and she noticed the hook and straps on the ground rather quickly, her eyes widening in understanding as sympathy blossomed across her face. "I know a fair amount about dressing wounds if you need help."

Hook found himself literally speechless for several seconds, because of all the reactions he had considered in the last few seconds, that one hadn't even been a fleeting consideration. Yet he appreciated her matter of fact approach, and smiled softly at her. "Your daughter's magic touch seems to have been all that was needed, but I thank you, milady."

Emma felt the shock run through her as he said the words softly, without a hint of innuendo, and knew her mother had realized he meant literal magic as well when she smiled softly and simply nodded in acceptance. "Tinkerbell just got back, we're ready to go over the final plan if you are."

"Just give us a minute." Emma surprised both herself and Hook by saying softly.

Hook's eyes widened as Snow merely nodded and turned to head back towards the clearing. Emma remained facing away from him even as her mother vanished from sight however, and he sighed softly as he pulled a dry rag from his pocket and began wrapping it around his forearm. It was awkward, but he'd had a good deal of practice. He was incredibly grateful that she'd healed his wounds, but they would just happen again if he didn't take precautions.

He was so intent on what he was doing, on giving her space since she hadn't spoken or turned back to him yet, that he couldn't help but tense slightly when her gentle hands took over the task of wrapping his arm, her touch somehow both tender yet practical. She helped him fit the brace on the same way, tightening the straps under his soft instructions, both of them aware of the intimacy of the moment yet not willing to break it with questions.

"Thank you, love." He simply said softly once he'd put his shirt back on, grinning slightly at her reddened cheeks and the flash of disappointment he saw in her emerald eyes.

She whispered anytime a second before she gave in to the urge and kissed him softly.

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement is intended.

AN: Sorry I'm not writing as fast as I used to, I promise it'll pick up again now that we're on the back end. Just too much going on in real life. Thanks for all the positive feedback though, it's been simply wonderful. As Hook wasn't really involved in Henry's rescue, and I saw no need to rewrite it since him preparing the Jolly makes sense, we're skipping ahead to a bit into "Save Henry," and getting some added scenes before a bit of rewriting. Not much CS here, but the plot has to move along somehow. Enjoy!

* * *

Stars

by Lady Callista

Chapter 9:

The fact that Tinkerbell was alone on the edge of the camp, and was pacing, really answered the question before it had even been asked, but as Hook broke through the trees he couldn't help but question, "No word on either front?"

Tinkerbell shook her head in irritation. "Wendy is up in the tower, keeping watch for any of them, or anyone else. Is the Jolly Roger ready?"

"Aye." Hook nodded, sinking down onto a stump and rolling his shoulders to try to loosen some of his back muscles. He prided himself on being able to do every task needed on the Jolly, but the ways he'd had to adapt to some of them were not the kindest on his body. "Wendy aided me in getting both dingys ashore before returning, but we both agreed it would be wiser if one of us was here."

"With poor, helpless me?" The sickly sweetness in Tinkerbell's voice was a warning, but Hook didn't react when she was suddenly in front of him with a dagger under his throat.

"It's easy to put a knife to the throat of a man sitting in front of you who trusts you won't kill him making a point." Hook held the fairy's eyes until they dropped from his, and swallowed deeply when the knife dropped as well, tucked back into easy reach on her belt. She was practically vibrating with nerves, a state he'd never seen her in, and knew he had to snap her out of it. "But it makes sense to have more sets of eyes watching the Lost Ones."

"Don't you think I know that!" Tinkerbell snapped. "I know I can't do anything but wait, and worry, and it's been a long time since I've done that and will you stop looking at me like that!"

She shoved at his shoulders as she said it, but Hook had been anticipating her and just rolled with it, watching her start to rant and rave rather impressively about the unfairness of, well, pretty much everything she could think of. He let her get it out, and when she finally fell silent asked softly, "Feel better now, love?"

Tinkerbell turned back to him, eyes incredulous, as she let out something between a scoff and a laugh before shaking her head and settling unto a stump a few feet from him. "You always did read people far too well."

It was his turn to give a choked sounding laugh, as he knew all too well that was one of Swan's problems with him. He saw through her walls and that terrified her. It was why he'd never pushed. "We're all tense, and you've always let your emotions rule you." He kept his voice mild, having no wish to fight with the fairy.

"And you've always reacted before thinking things through." She said briefly. "Why did you come back after what you did to get away?"

Hook blinked for a moment at the blunt question, but supposed it made sense. They had enough of a history, both good and bad, that them being relatively alone for the first time meant a conversation was bound to happen. "How did you lose your wings and end up stuck here?"

Both questions hung in the air for a long moment, bringing up memories each of them generally tried to avoid, and then he surprised her by breaking their deadlock and saying almost casually. "Don't believe everything you hear, lass, and if you don't know why I'm back you've not been paying attention."

She knew part of it anyway, he thought, knowing the fairy who had once specialized in love and soulmates would have picked up on his feelings for Emma. And he had no desire to try to explain that it wasn't just that Henry was Emma's, it was that he was also Bae's, and by extension Milah's. That was too long a discussion to have right now, and it still occasionally gave him a headache if he thought about it too hard.

Tinkerbell's eyes widened at the mix of love and pain in his voice. She hadn't expected him to answer at all, although she couldn't say she hadn't suspected what the answer might be. For a moment she put aside the story she'd heard of how he escaped the island, the one that was making her poke at him because she'd needed to be sure he had indeed changed, at least as much as Emma seemed to believe he had. And now he was insinuating that she didn't know the entire story, which actually knowing Pan wouldn't surprise her overly much. One last test. The last time she'd tried to counsel him to give up on revenge and move on from Milah he'd stomped out of her house and never returned. But she could sense the difference in him now. Her voice was soft as she offered, "I never thought you'd get over Milah."

The pain in his eyes intensified, but he gave her a smile that was surprisingly soft, and she saw the love that still bloomed there as he whispered, "Neither did I."

"How did you do it?"

Hook blinked at the sudden change of topic, head tilting as he considered her. She was just as good at reading people as he was, and he wondered at how something in his reaction to her comment had changed nearly her whole demeanor. "Is that why you're stuck here lass, did you break the rule that fairies can't fall in love?"

Tinkerbell shook her head. "No, I tried to help someone who was where you were when I met you. Someone who couldn't give up revenge for love. Someone who was afraid to love again. I broke the rules to help this person, and the worst part is they didn't even get their love."

"Why not?"

Tinkerbell shook her head sadly. "Because one of the hardest things in the world is to love again once your heart has been broken."

Hook raised an eyebrow, seeing her blush slightly when she realized that was one particular piece of wisdom that he was rather intimately acquainted with. "I believe it's worth the risk."

"I can see that, and it's what's different about you since you came back. There's love in your eyes now, and hope. How did you do it?"

"And now you're the one without it, or you were until we showed up." Hook offered her a small smile even as he pondered the strange twists and turns the conversation was taking. They both had questions they wanted to ask, issues they needed to work out, but they also knew their time was limited and certain things were more important than others. "They'll be back, lass, with both Henry and the water, just have faith in them. They're not the kind to let you down."

"You really do, don't you?" Tinkerbell said, a touch of wonder in her voice. "Believe in them I mean."

"Aye, and you should as well." He said simply. She didn't need the same kind of comforting Emma had, and he realized part of her anxiety was that she was trusting them with her life as well, and she barely knew half of them.

"You're not just avoiding the question on how you let Milah go, are you? You really don't know."

"And you speak of me reading people too well." He grumbled, knowing she wasn't entirely wrong. "I don't think it would be the same for everyone, love, and mayhaps we can discuss it one day far from here over a pint. But the short answer is that, well, you just have to meet the right person and then everything changes. The only way to stop living in the past is to start imagining a future. To have something, _someone_ , that makes life worth living, not just surviving."

"What about your revenge?"

Hook shook his head, turning from her to scan the trees as he thought about that. "I thought I had it once, not long ago. And while it gave me some satisfaction, it also left me empty. She fills that emptiness with light and hope, and the belief that maybe I can be the man I once was. She makes me want to be that again, because if she can still love, and trust, after all she's been through then maybe..."

Tinkerbell couldn't help but giggle at the softness in his voice, this was a side of him she'd certainly never seen before. When he only cut himself off and turned to glare at her, although half-halfheartedly, she offered, "I never knew you had such a romantic heart."

"Neither did I."

Hook and Tinkerbell both spun at the soft voice, eyes widening as Snow White slid out of the trees, followed by her rather disgruntled looking husband.

"Did you get the water?" Hook couldn't quite look her in the eyes; it had been strangely fitting to confide in the fairy who had once tried to be his friend, to let the woman who had once believed so strongly in love know that she hadn't failed to help him, it had just taken time. But to know that Emma's parents had overheard was something different. Echo Cave had been necessary, there had been no choice then, and perhaps part of him had known the only way Emma would believe it was to speak the words in a place and time when they couldn't be a lie.

"Yes." Snow answered, her head tipped as she considered him. "They're not back yet?"

Hook shook his head, still avoiding her gaze as he checked the position of the sun. "Should be soon though, unless they ran into unexpected trouble."

Snow could see the worry cross his face, and without thought went up and laid a hand gently on his arm. He startled before turning to her, but she only smiled softly. "She'll be fine."

"Aye."

He nodded, and Snow could see him rebuilding his mask right before her eyes. As the softness started to vanish from his eyes, she squeezed his arm gently. "Having a soft side doesn't make you less of a man, it makes you a better one." Her words were a whisper, meant for him alone, and she couldn't help from flicking her eyes back to her husband, who still looked as unhappy as he had when she'd stopped him behind a tree when she heard Hook's not entirely surprising words about his feelings for Emma. "Trust me on that."

Hook's eyes widened at her quiet words, and at the tentative but real approval he could see in her eyes. He wondered how long they had been listening in, what she had overheard to suddenly make her opinion seem to shift. He glanced back at David as well, and the moment he did something snapped in the man's eyes.

"If you hurt her..."

"David." Snow snapped.

Killian rose to his full height at the tone. "I've no intention of hurting her, mate."

"You will." Three heads jerked towards Tinkerbell as she bravely, or foolishly, stepped into the conversation. "Wait." She hissed at Hook as he started to speak, and locked her eyes on Snow. "You know what I mean. The more you care about someone, the more you trust them, the more they can hurt you. And I don't mean intentionally."

Snow's eyes flicked to David, remembering his Echo Cave confession. "Sometimes in trying to spare someone pain, you cause it. And losing someone you love, or just being afraid of that, hurts more than anything I've ever felt."

"I'm not about to leave her, not unless she tells me to go. The rest, well, it's up to her as much as me." Hook's words were soft, but full of conviction, and David had just opened his mouth to reply when a shout echoed across the clearing.

"They're coming!" Hook tilted his head as Wendy's voice echoed, and he heard the barest whisper of movement through the trees. He had just started moving in that direction when she called out, "Something's wrong."

All arguments and other worries temporarily forgotten, the four of them sprinted across the clearing, reaching the trees just as Regina crashed through them. But it was the sight of Henry slung over Emma's shoulder that stopped everyone cold. Hook recovered first, hurrying forward to take the boy from her arms.

"No." Emma resisted, terrified of letting go now that she had him again, but she could feel her arms shaking. Some magic in the skull cave had made teleportation impossible, and it had been a long and tiring run out of there before Regina could zap them to a hundred yards or so from the camp.

"What's wrong?" Wendy rushed up, eyes widening as she took in the scene.

Neal caught Hook's eye, and shifted closer to Henry even as Hook moved around to Emma's other side. "We've got him Ems, it's okay." He reached for Henry gently, he hadn't been able to talk her out of carrying him from Skull Rock despite his hardest efforts, and he hadn't wanted to waste too much time arguing.

Emma was shaking all over by the time she released Henry into his father's arms, and she felt nothing but relief when Hook's arms closed gently but without hesitation around her. It was the first time he'd initiated such contact, and that he did it to comfort rather than seduce meant more to her than she could even process right now.

"What happened?"

"The little brat captured Gold. And then..."

Hook vaguely listened as the Charmings interrogated Neal and a pissed off Evil Queen, although it wasn't seeing her pissed that worried him, it was seeing the fear underneath the anger she used as a shield. He knew a thing or two about that.

He listened, but most of his attention was on Emma, who to his surprise had not moved from the circle of his arms. She'd stopped shaking, nearly caught her breath as well, but not only had she not pulled away, her arms had actually slid around his waist in return. He wondered, as he had the night she'd first curled up in his arms, how long it had been since she had someone to comfort her. And he hugged her a little tighter. "You've bested Pan at every turn love, this will be no different."

Emma took a deep breath as he whispered the words softly in her ear, embarrassment tingling through her. This was no time to fall apart.

He felt her shift, and slid back slowly, letting his hand ghost lightly over her back before it came to rest on her hip. He could see her trying to hide the vulnerability, the fear, and used his hook to tilt her chin up until she met his eyes. "You don't have to be the strong one all the time. We've come this far, Emma, we'll not give up now."

"We need to talk to the captives." Regina's harsh tone cut through the moment, and she started moving back towards the side of the house where the lost ones were secured.

"Gold is in a box, and David can never leave the island."

"Mary Margaret, that doesn't matter." David cut in softly, his arm wrapping around her waist as they turned to hurry after Regina, Tinkerbell and Wendy falling in behind them. "I've already made my peace with that, what matters is Henry. How much time do we have left?"

Emma stiffened when the answer that Regina called back was only an hour, and he watched resolve fill her eyes before she purposly took his hand and pulled him after the others.

"Then I suggest we start looking." Hook called out as they heard Neal say that he could fly again, meaning he could be anywhere on the island.

Regina, however, had a different idea. They cleared the corner of the house to find Neal laying Henry down gently on a cot, and Regina laying into Felix. "Where is he?"

Felix taunted rather than answer, but Hook noticed that Emma's eyes weren't on the argument, they were on the younger boys.

"That look in the eyes, the one that says you've been left alone."

Hook's eyes widened as she murmured back the words he had said to her back when they first met, when they were climbing a beanstalk. She'd barely seemed to be listening to him, that she could remember his words months later was amazing. He was speechless when she squeezed his hand softly and whispered a thank you before moving up and stopping Regina from pulling out Felix's heart.

"I don't think torture is our best move here. Look at these kids, they've been to hell and back. We need to try something else." Emma looked over the kids again, imagining Henry as one of them. Or Neal, or Hook. Or herself.

"Well, we've tried everything I can think of, what do you suggest?"

Emma glanced back at Henry, her eyes softening before they moved on to Neal, then Hook, then finally her mother. "What does every orphan want?"

Hook couldn't help but whisper with her, "A mother."

"That's because they didn't have mine." Regina snapped, but she sighed and looked over at Henry before stepping away from the boys. "Have at it, Miss Swan."

Emma glanced back at Henry as well, and then her eyes shifted to Hook's once again.

He gave her a smile and a small nod, and once again the belief she saw there both took her breath away and steadied her. She smiled back, memories of him telling her what an amazing mother she was flirting through her head, and she used his resolve to build her own as she turned to face the lost ones once again.

"Guys, listen to me..."

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement is intended.

AN: I don't think I've ever read a fic where we find out what deal Hook made with Pan to get out of Neverland the second time, and, well, I had an idea while rewatching episodes for this fic. Cause there's that line about Hook killing Rufio... Also, I always wondered why Felix was unconscious on the deck when the ladies showed up. And yeah, I changed when the Lost Boys board to play with that a bit, I doubt you'd even notice if I hadn't mentioned it, lol. Two more parts after this I think. Thanks for all the reviews as always, I'm glad people are enjoying this.

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Stars

by Lady Callista

Chapter 10:

"So what's the plan?" Felix hissed the instant him and Hook were alone in the dingy.

Hook watched Baelfire help the last boy up the ladder before turning to Felix with a raised eyebrow. "I believe you heard us discussing it earlier. Take Henry's heart back from Pan, and then it's a one-way trip out of this cursed land."

Felix's eyes widened briefly before he shook his head and chuckled, "It's a good act, but you've been Pan's ally too long for me to..."

"I was never his ally, lad." Hook snapped, using his hook to shove Felix towards the ladder as he saw Bae poke his head over it, as if wondering what the delay was. He chuckled suddenly as he saw worry flash over the boy's face. "Is that why you let them quiet you? Is that why you let _me_ quiet you? Thought I was privy to some plan of Pan's that you weren't?"

"He told me to trust you when you first sided with Rufio too, cause you were only planning to betray him. I know there's gotta be a play this time as well."

"I'm no longer in the position where I'm forced to make deals with a demon." Hook prodded Felix until the boy began to climb, taking a deep breath as painful memories forced their way to the forefront of his mind. He knew why Felix would consider him an ally; Pan wouldn't have shared the real truth of the matter with him, but the version that made him come out as looking more powerful. And the blasted bugger was powerful enough.

"Hook!"

Baelfire's voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up just in time to catch the ropes coming at his head, moving to attach them to the rings at the bow and stern of the dingy automatically before hauling himself up the ladder.

Wendy and Tink had the boys gathered up out of the way, and Felix sat apart from them, under David's watchful eye and drawn sword.

Hook traded places with the prince, who only nodded as him and Bae moved to the winches to haul the small ship back up on to the deck.

"You know Pan never fails." Felix growled. "Turn on these idiots just like you did on Rufio, and..."

"Don't speak of what you don't understand." Hook snapped, his angry voice drawing the attention of the others.

"They're not taking us home!" Felix called, and the other boys shifted uneasily on the deck. Tink eyed them nervously and pulled Wendy back a few steps even as David and Bae hurried to get the dingy aboard so they could help. "They don't really care about you, they don't care about anyone but themselves. We'll all end up dead just like Rufio, and..."

"Pan killed Rufio!" Hook snapped.

"You killed Rufio!" Felix retorted, rising to his feet with a surge, and Hook could hear the boys behind him starting to mumble. Most of them had seen it firsthand, after all.

"You tricked him into trying to help you kill Pan, and when it didn't work you killed him so that Pan wouldn't kill you!" One of the older boys called out.

"Pan lied to you about what happened." Hook called out loudly and clearly. "Do you truly think he'd have let me live, never mind leave, if I'd truly betrayed him like that?"

"He said he did it to keep us safe." One of the younger boys answered now. "So that you couldn't hurt any of the rest of us."

"Rufio came to me." Hook kept his eyes locked on Felix even as he noted with relief that Dave and Bae had just settled the boat on deck and were circling out, David heading towards the ladies and Bae coming up behind Felix. The little bastard had picked the best possible moment to attempt his prisoner's revolt, and if Emma hadn't done such a good job of talking to the boys it could have been far worse. But he could hear the doubts in the voices of the other boys as they questioned, yet again, something Pan had told them. "He thought he might have found a way off the island, but he would need my assistance , and my ship. I'd wanted to leave for a long time, and I agreed. We planned for nearly two weeks, and when we were almost ready, Pan came to me."

"That's a lie." Felix screamed. "Pan told you to help Rufio and then..."

Bae unfortunately chose that moment to clock Felix in the back of the head, and Hook looked at him with exasperation. "You couldn't have waited until he revealed that portion of the truth?"

Baelfire looked down, slightly sheepishly, at the boy collapsed at his feet as the last words that boy had said registered. "Hey, I thought he was just gonna rile them up more, I never thought he'd break that easily..."

Hook let out a wry chuckle as he shook his head, and murmured for Bae's ears alone, "When you tell enough lies it's hard to remember who knows what."

He turned then, catching Tink's eye as she stared at him. He'd avoided the topic barely an hour ago when she'd tried to press him on it, but now that Felix and the other boys had spewed their version he knew the whole ugliness would have to come out, or he would lose all the trust he'd worked hard to gain. "Pan came to me, and said he'd known of the plan all along. He'd been testing Rufio, and there was no way off the island. Except one. He would allow me and my men to leave, but only if we attempted the plan, and made sure Rufio died in the attack."

"Why would he..." Tink's mind whirled as she considered. She'd heard the same version the boys knew, as she'd heard it from them.

Hook and Rufio, along with a bunch of his pirates, had broken into Pan's compound in an attempt to kill him and take over, but Pan had captured them and tried to turn Rufio back to his side. And just when it looked like he would succeed, Hook had turned on him and killed him, offering Rufio's life in trade for his and his mens.

She hadn't questioned the story when she first heard it, everyone had seen it after all, and although she had wondered briefly why Pan would let Hook leave after that, and wondered privately if they were actually all dead, it hadn't really been something she cared about enough to consider. But Hook's version made sense when you knew Pan as she did.

"And if you don't take his deal, he kills all of you for planning his assassination. Or worse, sticks you in a cage forever." Tink said softly, although her voice carried surprisingly well.

"Rufio was dead the moment he plotted against Pan." Hook said softly, his eyes trailing over the boys. "But what looks better? One of Pan's most trusted turning on him and dying at his own hand, or the evil pirate corrupting and killing one of Pan's most trusted as he tried to save him?"

"Rufio really wanted to leave?" One of the younger boys took a few steps forward, and Hook smiled softly as he dropped to a knee.

"He did, lad, just like you want to. And I promise, just like Emma did, just like all of us do, that we'll be leaving very soon. We have something we didn't have back then, and that's a way out of here. Now, I need you boys to get below while we prepare to sail. Can you do that? There's a big loft with a bunch of hammocks that should fit you all perfectly."

The boy smiled back and nodded, and Hook glanced up at Tink. "Main crew berth, down the main hatch and straight ahead, last door."

She nodded, and began ushering Wendy and the boys down as Hook turned back to Felix, deciding there was no harm in letting the boy remain lying there, although he did move to tie him up again.

"You chose saving your men and yourself over saving Rufio." Baelfire couldn't help but speak up, and Hook's gaze snapped over to him, eyes softening as he saw him sitting with Henry's head in his lap.

"I couldn't have saved the lad. Either time."

There was a trace of regret in Hook's voice, but unlike before Baelfire understood now why it was only a trace. "You didn't just decide to turn me over to Pan because I didn't want to stay with you, did you?"

Hook's expression blanked for a moment, his jaw tightening. It galled enough that he hadn't been able to defeat or outwit Pan, having to admit it out loud wasn't going to happen. He said only, "Pan never fails."

"Until now." David's voice came firmly, snapping Hook out of his memories. "We need to get ready to leave."

"Aye." Hook squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath of cleansing sea air before nodding to David as the prince finished closing the hatch behind Tinkerbell. Bae clearly wasn't moving from his spot with Henry, which he completely understood, but David didn't know much about sailing. He headed over to the ropes for the main sail. "Over here, mate, we may need to be quick once the ladies return and I'll show you..."

Hook felt a shift in the air, spinning towards the fordeck as the ladies appeared in a puff of purple smoke, relief surging through him as he saw the heart pulsing in the queen's hand.

"Henry, where is he?"

"He's over here."

Hook stood back as Regina and Emma rushed across the deck, staying on the edge of the circle that formed around Henry, smiling in relief as the lad woke up and immediately started apologizing. He knew what it was to make the wrong choice trying to be a hero, and he smiled when Henry's eyes slowly scanned around the circle of adults hovering over him and met his own. "Welcome back, young sir." He grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Only the best for our guest of honor, don't you think? Captain's quarters."

Henry grinned back as Regina offered to tuck him in.

OoOoOoO A few hours later OoOoOoO

Hook stood alone at the wheel as his ship sailed quietly through the stars.

"Need a break?"

Hook's eyes widened as David appeared beside him with a bowl of cheese and dried meat. He glanced down to where Snow White was passing out food to the boys, and Regina and Tink were talking quietly. "Here to warn me off of Emma again?"

David chuckled, the hand he put on the wheel clearly a peace offering as he offered the bowl again. Hook took it with a nod, nearly dropping it as David said softly, "She's had enough people abandon her."

He speared a hunk of cheese with his hook, biting it off to buy himself a moment. While this wasn't really approval, not even the tentative kind Swan's mother had given hours ago, it was at least acceptance. For the moment anyway. And between two gentlemen like themselves that was all that needed to be said.

"If you can manage to keep her going straight for the next few hours, I'll take a brief rest. Then I need to check some charts against Bae's starmap. Apparently the code to it is from a chart of mine that he'd memorized, but it's one I've not checked in sometime."

David nodded. "Snow and Wendy are both getting tired too, and you can tell the boys all are. We'll try to settle them all down once they're done eating. How many hours?"

"At least 10, I'll know for sure once I see the other star charts. We'll take shifts, both up here and keeping an eye on Felix." Hook decided as he continued to eat, trying to remember the last time any of them had had a decent meal. David nodded, and so Hook pointed out the stars he needed to steer by before wandering down from the wheel and climbing below decks.

He was almost to his quarters before he remembered that Henry was sleeping in there, and he diverted to the galley with a sigh, filling his bowl again with the intent of leaving it for the boy before wandering off to sleep in the first mate's quarters. But not before grabbing a clean shirt from his wardrobe. He wrinkled his nose as he balanced the bowl on his arm and quietly opened the door to his quarters, closing it just as quietly behind him. Keeping his back to the bed and moving as silently as possible, Hook shed his coat, leaving it on the desk along with the bowl, stepping towards the small built in cabinet as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the deck before reaching for a clean one.

He had just shrugged into it and started to do up the lower buttons when the lantern hanging on the wall suddenly lit and he spun, instinctively going on alert. He took a harsh breath at the sight of Emma, and just Emma, in his bed. "Where's Henry?"

Emma smiled, feeling her heart melt slightly that that was his first thought. "Neal woke us up a little while ago when he came to check on us, and after he left Henry didn't want to go back to sleep. I said he could go up on deck, everyone else is up there. I just wanted a minute alone."

"You can sleep longer if you want, lass, we're going to take turns up above." He gestured towards the bowl on the desk, "I was just going to leave that for Henry before finding a place to rest my head as well. Take as long as you need."

"You don't have to go." She whispered as he turned towards the door, and smiled back at the shock on his face when he spun to face her.

"Emma." It was all he could manage, and his entire body was frozen, wanting to move to her but needing her to be absolutely clear. He was fine with only holding her if that was her wish, and certainly fine with more if that was her desire. But he needed to know _before_ he touched her.

"You never doubted we would win. And you said, you said that after we won it, it would be my choice." Emma said softly as she sat up. "And I... gods I suck at this, but... but I don't want you to go. I don't want to run away from you anymore."

"And what do you want, love?" The words came out softer than he had planned.

Emma smiled softly as she rose, the flirting tone he'd tried to inject falling flat at the gentleness and wonder in his eyes. She tilted her head as she slid a hand up his chest and around his neck. "I want you to kiss me, and then hold me until we fall asleep." Her breath caught at the flash of pure joy in his eyes and his smile, and prepared herself for the flash and burn.

Instead, his hand slid up her arm to touch her cheek gently, his thumb caressing over her lips before he leaned down to rest their foreheads together. He whispered her name again before kissing her gently, sliding into the kiss as he felt her warm hand on his back, tracing his spine even as she sent shivers down it with the fingernails tracing over the back of his neck. "I think that sounds like a perfect plan, love." He skimmed the side of his hook up her bare arm, eyes widening when she only shivered and leaned in to kiss him again.

Emma had expected to see triumph and lust in his eyes when she finally gave in, but though the passion was there in his stormy eyes, which were darker than normal, there was a gentleness in his touch and face that overcame those baser emotions. He knew how broken she was, but knew how to deal with all those jagged edges. And he knew that sometimes all he could do was hold her while she fixed them herself. He proved it again when he drew back from the series of kisses that had never lost their gentleness and pulled her to sit beside him on the bed.

"If you want to simply sleep, we should probably do that now."

Her eyes flicked down to his crotch before she could stop herself, eyebrows rising at the effect a simple kiss had clearly had on him. But her own heart was racing, and she couldn't say she didn't feel the heat centering in her belly. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"There's no need to be sorry, love." He chuckled, sliding back on the bed and pulling her against his chest where she cuddled right in.

"This just needs to go slow, and..."

"It's alright, Emma." He whispered, "As you once said this isn't the time or the place. When it is, we'll both know. I'm just glad you stopped pushing me away."

"You wouldn't go."

"And unless you truly desire it, I never will." He whispered the words into her hair, smoothing it back from where it was falling over her cheek.

"When we get back, we, we should go on a date." Emma mumbled, eyes flashing up to his when she felt him chuckle beneath her. "What?"

Hook only smiled softly, fingers trailing over her cheek again. "Are you asking me to court you, lass?"

Emma flushed, smacking his chest lightly at the archaic term, but he really wasn't that far off from what she wanted. "I just don't want to mess this up."

He smiled again, heart clenching at the vulnerability in her tone, catching her hand and laying a gentle kiss on the back of it before searing a brand into her palm. "Neither do I. We'll just have to be patient with each other."

"You're good at that."

Hook chuckled again, he could literally hear her starting to fall asleep, and he kissed her forehead as she cuddled more closely into him. "Long practice. The speed and exact course don't concern me, love, as long as I know where I'm ending up. And as I told you, this is exactly where I wanted to be."

"You probably pictured us naked though." For once it was Emma who injected the teasing tone into the conversation, and he barked out a laugh of surprise.

"Well, I am a man." He smirked as he traced his fingers up her side, caressing over the cleavage her tank top revealed before dropping his palm down to give her breast a soft squeeze, sliding his hand back down to her hip when she gasped. "But it's worth the wait to know that it's right. I never want to hurt you, Emma, and I told you I'm fine with whatever that means."

"I really need to write a new book on Captain Hook." Emma mumbled, sliding her arm under his shirt to wrap it around his trim waist.

"Well, you've heard some of the more memorable parts of the tale..."

It was her turn to chuckle. "No, that, that's not what I mean. How did all of the stories get you so wrong?"

"They didn't. Well, other than my appearance, if I understood Tink's description of a perm correctly." He frowned at the thought before taking a deep breath. "I was a different man before I met you, Emma. Forgive me if this is too much, but you were a light in the darkness, darling. You intrigued me, reminded me of when I'd had your ideals, your hopes. You were beautiful and passionate and strong, yet you were hiding a pain so deep, and in some ways so like my own, that I couldn't help but want to comfort you. And the more I got to know you the more I wanted to know. I suspect that will never change."

"Killian." Words failed her, and she leaned up to kiss him deeply, regretfully pulling back before they got lost in each other. "I don't care about the past. You don't know all of what I've done either, and some of it, well... We all do bad shit. We all fail sometimes. It's who you are now that matters, and that's the man I want to get to know better."

"Emma. Gods, love..." His arms tightened around her, barely able to believe that he wasn't dreaming. Barely able to believe that she was in his arms, that she was really giving them a chance. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"You never gave up." She chuckled, "Even in the beginning when I really wished you would."

"Oh, you were fascinated even then." He teased.

She smirked and didn't answer, but curled herself closer into his side. "Can everything else wait till we're back in Storybrooke?"

"Oh course, love." He sighed as she dropped a kiss on his chest. "Sleep now. We've won."

And curled up in each others arms, they both dropped off into a contented sleep.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Once Upon A Time. ABC, Disney, the amazing A&E and whoever else have that distinction. No profit is being made, and no copywrite infringement is intended.

AN: You had to know the M rating would start kicking in eventually, not a lot yet though. I really, really love my more open Emma. But as you know it's not completely smooth sailing ahead, as we'll finally get back to Storybrooke soon and still have a problem to resolve. Thanks for all the reviews, I hope you continue to enjoy!

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Stars

by Lady Callista

OoOoOoO

"Stardust in your eyes, rosy cheeks, and a happy girl in the morning."

OoOoOoO

Chapter 11:

Emma woke a few hours later to find that they'd shifted in their sleep.

She woke on her side, his chest hard against her back, his breath playing lightly over the nape of her neck and causing her to let out a soft sigh. She woke surrounded by his warmth and the scent of the sea he always seemed to carry with him, and noticed that at some point he'd woken enough to remove his hook, although the brace was still on the arm that stuck out under the pillow. And his other arm was curled around her waist, where his hand had snuck under her shirt to lightly cup her breast.

Rather than making her panic and want to run, Emma felt the warmth slide through her, and she let out another sigh when she wiggled her hips and felt him start to wake.

Killian hummed contentedly into her neck, dropping a soft kiss there as he began rubbing her breast gently, tilting his head to drop sweet, sleepy kisses along the curve of her neck as he murmured her name.

"Killian." She whispered back, unable to stop her hand from sliding back and gripping his hip as he started rubbing himself softly against her ass.

"If this is a dream, I never want to wake."

Emma gasped as he husked the words in her ear as he nibbled over the shell of it, his voice still rough with sleep and accent somehow both stronger yet more liquid. His voice sounded like sin and she felt her body shiver in his arms as a surge of lust went through her.

He mistook her reaction however, and the fingers that had just started to tease her nipple to a point suddenly froze along with the rest of him as he woke up fully. He started to pull back from her at once, already mentally berating himself. That he'd been half asleep and dreaming of her was a reason but not an excuse. She'd just wanted him to hold her, and after saying he would never push her he...

All thoughts flew from his head when she only used the space he was giving her to twist her torso, her hand sliding back to grip his ass and keep their hips together. There was no mistaking the desire on her face, and he felt the wonder flow through him when she raised her head, clearly asking for a kiss he had no intention of denying.

He kissed her softly, his fingers beginning to play over her again as she arched into his hand. He broke the kiss when she went to deepen it, sliding his lips along her cheek and down the curve of her neck, nibbling across her collarbone and making her gasp. His hand slid from one breast to the other, still moving slowly, knowing they shouldn't be doing this now but unable to stop touching her now that she was not only allowing it, but welcoming it.

"You are so very tempting." He groaned the words in her ear as she squeezed his ass and arched her hips back into him at the same moment. She trembled in his arms, the same reaction he'd thought was fear before, but as he watched her face he knew that wasn't it.

Unable to stop himself, he chuckled deeply, nibbling along her neck again before breathing in her ear, "Bloody hell, love, the way you react to me... could I make you fly with just my voice?"

She shuddered as his hand slid down over her stomach, unable to help herself from whispering, "Think happy thoughts."

He chuckled in her ear, missing one reference entirely but getting a completely different idea from her words. He slid his hand down to slide it between her waist and the bed, pulling her as tightly against him as he could and rocking his hips into her. "Oh, I'm fairly happy already, love."

Emma couldn't help the giggle that escaped her, wondering if the slang was the same in the Enchanted Forest, or if it was one of the things he'd picked up in his brief time in Storybrooke. It wouldn't really surprise her either way. "I wish we had time for this."

"We've all the time in the world." He husked in her ear, paying attention now, and watching the blush that spread over her cheeks as he nibbled at her earlobe before adding, "I'm not going anywhere, love, not if I've any choice in the matter."

Emma met his eyes, the blush fading slightly at the quiet seriousness in his voice. The panic and fear didn't even start to rise this time, she could see the devotion and affection in his eyes, and above even that could hear the truth in his words. "I know."

His smile flashed brilliantly at her soft words, knowing how hard it was for her to believe that, and he kissed her sweetly before nudging her hip until she turned over, cuddling into his chest and listening as his heartbeat slowly returned to normal.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were a gentleman." She said after a few moments of silence.

"Of course not." He gave a slightly affronted huff, but she could hear the smile in his voice. "I don't know how things work in your world, love, but I've no problem with courting you before we... well..." Killian ran his fingers up and down her back softly, dropping a kiss on her forehead as he trailed off.

"Before we hit a home run?" She deliberately teased him, knowing he wouldn't get the reference. She couldn't remember ever being this comfortable with a man, a minute ago they'd been seriously making out, yet now they were talking with just the same ease. He really was okay with taking things slow, which both did and didn't surprise her.

"What does a game with a stick and a ball have to do with anything?"

He'd gotten part of the reference but missed the other, which was almost funnier. Emma grinned, wondering when and how he had run into baseball, but it didn't really matter at the moment. "It's code, basically among all adults. For example, first base." She raised her head, her hand going to the back of his neck as she drew him into a deep kiss, not pulling back until they were both breathless.

"Hmm." He hummed, fingers trailing up and down her spine under her shirt, his eyes dark and stormy with a heat she wanted to wrap around herself. "If memory serves, there are second and third bases before that home run you mentioned."

"Okay, I was gonna let it go but I have to ask, how did you learn about baseball?" She really was curious, but she also needed a minute to recover from his kiss. Because at this very instant, she wanted that home run, timing and possible interruptions be damned.

"It was on the magic box at the Rabbit Hole one night, and it's hardly a complicated game." He raised an eyebrow as she tried to lower her head back to his chest, catching her chin and tipping it back up to drop a kiss on her nose. "You're avoiding the question."

She blushed again, couldn't help it, but said softly, "You more or less got to second base in your sleep."

Killian grinned, remembering how he'd woken with the globe of her breast in his hand. He'd done it unconsciously, but she certainly hadn't seemed to mind. Still, there was something in her wording. "More or less?"

Emma's blush deepened, she was hardly a virgin, but sometimes he made her feel like one. For one thing, she'd never been with someone who loved teasing her so much, not to mention the other ways he was more vocal than she was used to. Her eyes flicked to his lips and back down, just imagining his mouth on her like that making her tremble slightly against him.

"Ah, I think I see, love." He grinned. "And when we have time, I plan on kissing every single inch of your body. Including what I suspect will be third base." She trembled again as he hummed the words in her ear, and he couldn't help but add, his voice getting lower still, "I can't wait to taste you."

The desire in his voice stunned her, she'd never been with a man who particularly wanted to do that, but there was no mistaking his desire and she felt herself blushing again. And wondering what he'd taste like in return. "Gods, Killian, why are we waiting?"

"Because it will be worth it." He kissed her softly before curling her back into his chest.

Where once he would have said it with ego, there was nothing but promise in his voice, and Emma sighed and cuddled closer. Other than Neal, she'd never done this with anyone, never taken the time to get to know someone, to date them, let the anticipation build along with the comfort level and closeness. She'd had the occasional one night stand, she wasn't a nun, but it wasn't always the sex she missed the most. What she missed was, well, everything else that you didn't have when things were just a one time thing.

She thought of how he'd reached out automatically to comfort her when she thought Henry was lost, he was probably the first person other than her family that had ever just hugged her like that since Neal. And how he'd massaged her back the other night when it was bothering her. How he would randomly drop kisses on her head when they lay like this, and how it soothed them both when he stroked through her hair. The warmth of his hand in hers as they walked, or his arm around her like it was now.

There was a knock on the door, and she moaned even as he chuckled, mumbling, "Also, I don't fancy being interrupted."

"Hook, you in there?"

It was her father, of course it was, and Emma sighed as Killian sat hurridly, reaching over the bed to snap his hook into place even as he called, "Be with you in a minute, mate."

Killian adjusted himself, tossing on and closing his coat when that wasn't quite enough to hide the state she'd left him in. He planned to slide out the door quickly, leaving David none the wiser that Emma had been with him, but she surprised him by getting up and grabbing the bowl of food he'd brought in before following him to the door. "You're sure, love?"

"As long as you're not an ass about it."

He couldn't help but laugh at the teasing tone in her voice, but his own was serious when he replied, "Haven't I already proven I'm not one to kiss and tell?"

"You told everyone about our first kiss." She couldn't help but grumble as he reached for the door.

"I wouldn't have if there had been any other way, love, and I think you know that."

She did, she really did, and so she only smiled, reaching out and curling her fingers around his hook. His eyes widened, and she saw how much the simple touch meant to him as he opened the door.

"Neal's got the helm for a bit, and... Emma, what are you..." David's eyes widened as his daughter followed Hook out of the room, but he cut himself off before he could ask a question he really didn't want an answer to.

Killian wasn't sure what to say, and settled for turning in the direction of the chart room and hoping the others would simply follow. When they didn't, and he felt Emma drop his hook, he started to turn back, fully prepared to stand by her whatever David said or thought.

But she reached for him again, this time squeezing his hand, and said softly, "Give us a minute, Killian."

Over her shoulder, he saw David's astonishment as she, quite deliberately he was sure, used his actual name in front of someone else for the first time. It would have been easy to tease David further, but she'd quite correctly count that as him being an ass, so he only nodded and brought her hand up to kiss the backs of her fingers gently before giving her a wink and heading off to check their course. "If you want a lesson in sailing, love, meet me at the helm when you have a chance."

Emma was still blushing when she turned to David after calling her agreement, and she hated that she was reacting like the innocent teenager she'd never been to something as simple as him kissing her hand. She would have considered it an affectation in anyone from her world, or a cheesy try at being romantic, yet the move was clearly natural to him, and while she'd never really been one for historical stuff she knew it had been considered completely proper.

"We were just sleeping, dad." She purposely made her voice higher and whiny, and when he only tilted his head and studied her more closely she dropped the mask and gave him a tentative smile. She remembered when she'd been in the Enchanted Forest with her mother, and the story she'd told her after waking from a particularly bad dream of the room of fire. "He's... he's like my candle."

Her dad's face froze for a second, and then he clearly discarded whatever he'd been about to say. He let out a deep sigh, eyes closing for a second as he dropped his chin to his chest. "How did you know the perfect thing to say?"

"It's just true." Emma whispered, leaning against the wall and tilting her head back for a moment. "I certainly wasn't looking for it, but..."

"Neither was I." David breathed, more to himself than her, but she cut herself off and he said he was sorry.

"It's okay, I, I don't really know what else to say. But he gets me, and... and I trust him." Emma turned her head to face him as he slouched along the wall beside her, his face serious. "I know we think of him as a bad guy, but so was Regina, and, and...He risked his life for us, more than once, and he saved your life. We'd never have saved Henry without him. He believes in me like... well, like Henry does."

"Like Snow and I do." David said softly. "And according to your mother, he looks at you the same way I look at her."

Emma blushed, because she knew the exact look he was talking about, and she had indeed seen it on both men's faces. She groaned as a thought crossed her mind, unlike the three of them she'd never thought of herself as a romantic, and she had to ask, "Please tell me I don't have a look matching mom's."

David chuckled for the first time since they'd come out of the room together. "Before just a minute ago I could have."

"Just give him a chance?" Emma shook her head even as she changed the subject, although she knew that even his disapproval wouldn't change her mind about this.

"Emma, I've been doing that since I found out he kissed you." David wraped his arm around her shoulders, kissing her briefly on the forehead .

She learned into him, mumbling, "Actually the first time I kissed him."

David sighed, stroking over the back of her head for a minute and saying just as softly, "I didn't need to know that." He gave her shoulder a squeeze as he pulled back and turned back to head up the hallway, likely to get some sleep. As he left, he said softly, "All we want is for you to be happy, and I'm not blind. I see how happy he makes you, so does Snow. That alone earns him a lot."

Emma watched him go for a long moment, almost disbelieving but not wanting to question how easy that had been. She popped a hunk of beef jerky into her mouth before wandering up to the main deck.

Tink and Wendy sat in the bow of the ship, laughing together, and Killian was just replacing Neal at the helm, but Emma didn't see anyone else. Neal passed her on his way down, swiping a piece of cheese from her with a wink as he answered her unspoken question, "Regina and Henry are down getting some food, and your mother's in the hold telling the boys stories. I think your father just went to sleep."

Emma nodded her thanks. "I'll stay up here with Hook if you wanna get some sleep. I know I still feel like I could sleep for a week."

Neal nodded, but reached out for her hands. She gave them to him without hesitation, smiling when he squeezed them gently as his eyes flicked back to Hook before looking at her seriously. "Be careful, Ems."

"Always."

He nodded before heading below as she moved up to the helm. Killian took his hook off the wheel, opening his arms to her with a look of hesitation on his face. She only smiled, moving into the circle of his arms and leaning back lightly against his chest as she continued eating.

He kept his hand on the wheel at first, alternately resting his hook on her hip and using it to gesture as he pointed out some of the constellations he had told her about before, explaining how they were using them to navigate. And when she finished eating and set the bowl on the deck he moved her hands to the wheel so that he could wrap his arms around her waist.

"Fancy another story, love?"

She eyed him warily, enjoying just being with him like this and not sure if she was ready for more deep conversations.

Killian grinned as he read her face, leaning down to kiss her softly before casting his eyes off to starboard. "It looks different than the one you spoke of, and has a different story, but I know a story about a swan as well." He removed his hand from her waist to point out the stars that made up the constellation he knew as the swan and began to tell her a story.

Emma wasn't even really listening at first, his warmth and lilting voice and just the peace, the relief that everything was over sweeping through her. Then she really registered what he was saying, and that it was the story of the Ugly Duckling. Apparently a story in her world was a constellation in another.

Rather than interrupt, she just leaned back into his warmth and enjoyed the minutes of peace.

TBC...


End file.
